Who here got a vasectomy?

[Shawn1112]

Fuck man, so very sorry to hear.

 

[TCG Member 5219]

So I thought it was appropriate to update you guys on the situation.
A few weeks ago we found out we were having a boy and was super excited. I think I was most excited for my son to have a little brother.
A normal ultrasound after we found out the sex we got some disturbing news. Our son was diagnosed with spina bifida myelomeningocele which is the worst kind there is.
These kids often need shunts in their brain to help drain fluid. Open wound on their back where their spinal cord sticks out. No movement of their legs and below. No function of their bowels. These children need to be straight cathedured many times a day to stay regular.
Brain surgeries are frequent as the child grows the shunts need to be changed. High chances of infection with each surgery and can also cause vision issues and development issues and speech issues.
After talking with many many doctors that have done the surgeries and seen the children have no quality of life we had to make the best decision for us. We were also told that no place in IL has a good enough hospital equipped to handle these cases and we would have to move to either the east or west coast and might as well move into the hospital due to the amount of time the children are in and out. Not to mention a lot of the children who still pass due to surgery complications and other things that are beyond my scope of knowledge.

So with all that info from the doctors we chose not to go through with it because there was no quality of life for our poor guy. And no quality of life for my other children as they would be living in the hospital along side their brother. The only way my wife wanted to see it through was to treat him like every other beautiful child and give birth and we were hopeful to get a few minutes of life with him.

4/20 at 4:40 he was born but sadly he didn't even take a breath. within an hour later my wife was rushed to surgery to get the placenta out where she endured tons of pain due to her epidural not keeping her numb. She lost 2 liters of blood and almost died. The pain keeping her body stimulated for the surgery is what kept her alive.

4/24 we had a funeral where he was laid to rest with my wife grandfather. I'm catholic and she is jewish so he was laid to rest on top of her grandfather. Never being to a jewish funeral I have to say that I have a few respect for their tradition. Everything was perfect and they were very accomidating to everything. This is where pay if forward comes into play. If I see a friend on FB with a go fund me page for a reason or someone going through a hard time I will happily donate to those that need it. I've never asked for it in return. The cemetery was so nice that they paid it forward to us. Everything they did for us was free. I am thankful for that.

I will request this post be taken down after a little while it doesn't need to be out there forever but just wanted to give you guys an update. Things happen that are out of our control and things that we never expect. What I want from all of you with kids, is to just stop for a second and give them an extra long hug and kiss because you never know what tomorrow brings.

My wife is part of a FB group of support moms who have been nothing short of amazing. the care packages keep on coming. They send beautiful cards, flowers, stuffed animals with his name on it, gift cards, dinners etc. Everything she needs to keep her head up and make her feel better. These women are amazing and have raised our spirits so high it has brought her tears of joy instead of tears of sadness.

Yesterday was my birthday and it was a rough one to say the least. I am hopeful I can get someone who can design me a tattoo of his name and foot prints for my back. I also want it to say "I was your angel now you're mine"


Today is my first day back and work. Lucky for me a few people are off and I mainly work alone so it's nice but still hard to be out in public in front of everyone else with a smile on their face.

And that's about all i have to say for now. Give your family a hug and kiss and always pray for good thoughts.

ah i feel a little better writing this and letting some tears fall.
thanks for reading

Sorry to hear man. My wife and I went through this same situation with our baby boy back in 2012. He had a chromosome deletion 4p-. Its bad. She carried him to 30 weeks. He was born with his angel wings in a hospital in maryland where they were equipped to handle him if he lived. No dice. Just know you have someone waiting for you when you get up there. Babies have a special place in heaven. RIP baby boy gamble. We did tatoos of our little guy's feet. I have the left one and she has the right one.

It will get better. Just feel the pain, and always remember him. We didnt let this tragedy stop us either. 2 years later our last son was born. Hes our rainbow baby. The gift after the storm. Find your rainbow. I know that sounds cheesy, but its true. He was needed for something greater than our existence.

So sorry for your loss.

 

[Chet Donnelly]

Sorry to hear man...I can't imagine how tough that had to be. Your little man is in a better place, and thank God your wife made it through!

 

[ltjpunk7]

So sorry to hear that. That's something no one should ever have to go through and I can only imagine your pain. My thoughts are with you and your wife. I used to work at Children's Hospital of Philadelphia where we took care of a lot of MMC babies. It's certainly not an easy ride for those that make it. Keep your head up and I hope the best for your wife's recovery as well.

 

[Gamble]

So sorry to hear that. That's something no one should ever have to go through and I can only imagine your pain. My thoughts are with you and your wife. I used to work at Children's Hospital of Philadelphia where we took care of a lot of MMC babies. It's certainly not an easy ride for those that make it. Keep your head up and I hope the best for your wife's recovery as well.

They said CHOP was probably the best place to take care of these kids.

 

[Gamble]

Sorry to hear man. My wife and I went through this same situation with our baby boy back in 2012. He had a chromosome deletion 4p-. Its bad. She carried him to 30 weeks. He was born with his angel wings in a hospital in maryland where they were equipped to handle him if it lived. No dice. Just know you have someone waiting for you when you get up there. Babies have a special place in heaven. RIP baby boy gamble. We did tatoos of our little guy's feet. I have the left one and she has the right one.

It will get better. Just feel the pain, and always remember him. We didnt let this tragedy stop us either. 2 years later our last son was born. Hes our rainbow baby. The gift after the storm. Find your rainbow. I know that sounds cheesy, but its true. He was needed for something greater than our existence.

So sorry for your loss.

Thanks dude, that makes me feel better.
You guys would be amazed and how big he was at only 19 weeks. About 8" tall, .4pounds. All his fingers and toes.
His back though. For his size it was a pretty big issue.

 

[ltjpunk7]

They said CHOP was probably the best place to take care of these kids.

Yeah amazing place. Our department was lead site for the MOMS Trial. But even with world class care, you're committing to a lifelong relationship to health care with varying degrees of success.

 

[Blownbyyou]

I am so sorry to hear, words can not describe how you and your wife must be feeling.


Good Luck with Everything!!

 

[Spivitz]

I'm very sorry to read this.

 

[BS ISF]

So sorry for your loss!!! RIP

 

[Lord Tin Foilhat]

Damn that's horrible dude. Stay positive!

 

[Tight Lines]

Truly sorry to hear this. Thoughts and prayers for you and your family.

 

[CMNTMXR57]

Dude, so sorry man. With my Wife having been older when we had our first, stuff like this kept both up at night and we kept going back for many more ultrasounds than necessary just to be sure.

As to the original topic, We had a scare with potentially #3. I said no more, either you do something (meaning her), or I'm getting something done. it was just quicker and easier for me. So I got snipped, probably 4 - 5 years ago.

When I did it, After my week of frozen things on the boys in a jock strap, I was told to specifically to beat off like a homicidal maniac. Just because you got snipped, what was left in the tubes, could still cause impregnation. The doc said 20 - 25 ejaculations. I happily exceeded that. Because after that week/week and a half of not touching it, I was like a kid with a new toy. After a few weeks, I went back and got tested to get the all clear.

Once I got that all clear, WE went at it like bunnies. And I have to say, it's been great ever since not having to worry.

You should also know that your body doesn't stop making sperm. It's still being made in the factory. You just can't deliver it. It's simply absorbed by the body. Which if you ask me, adds even more to the sex life because there is testosterone in that, and since then, I'm hornier than I've EVER been.

 

[boostedguy05]

Damn, i cant imagine going through that. we had out little issues with all of our kids but everything ended up on the plus. but it was still a roller coaster ride emotionally. keep yourself and your wife up, and hope everyone recovers.

 

[cap42]

Sorry to hear man

 

[FESTER665]

Sorry to hear.

 

[NOMIEZVR4]

Condolences. Sad to hear that

 

[Vogz]

Wow, that's horrible man. Just teared up a little at work while reading this. Definitely going to give both my little ones big hugs when I get home tonight.

 

[Bub]

terrible news. very sorry to hear

 

[ragingclue]

That sucks, man. Glad your wife is getting the support she needs, a lot of the time they end up beating themselves up badly over this sort of stuff.

Also nice to hear stories about people doing good for other people without ulterior motives. With all the negativity and shitty stuff we're exposed to these days, it's good to see that's not all there is.

 

[Gamble]

That sucks, man. Glad your wife is getting the support she needs, a lot of the time they end up beating themselves up badly over this sort of stuff.

Also nice to hear stories about people doing good for other people without ulterior motives. With all the negativity and shitty stuff we're exposed to these days, it's good to see that's not all there is.

I almost forgot; this group of girls all grouped together to have a candle lighting for my her. They posted a nice message and everyone lit a candle and posted a pic of it. It's really the simple things that help ease the pain through this. A card, letter, picture all that goes a long way.
They say once the mom starts to heal is when it hits the dad pretty hard. And I'm sure that is the case. I'm so tired of crying over it I have been pretty stone cold on emotion for about 5 days now. So hopefully once she is better she can help me pick up when I fall. For now it's my turn to stand tough and help her

 

[Eagle]

Horrible news for you and your family that's incredibly hard for me to fathom as a father.

Here's to a complete recovery to both you and your wife.

 

[willizm]

I'm speechless and tearing up reading this. I'm so sorry to hear about this and I can not imagine what it feels like.

 

[Primalzer]

What a rollercoaster thread. My draw dropped reading your update post. I can't even imagine what you are going through. It sounds like you had some great people around you to love and support you through this trying time.

Stay strong

 

[boostedguy05]

I shared your story with my wife. Were both here on tears. Thank you for sharing you story with us.