Who's The Masta!?!
- Mar 27, 2009
- Reaction score
- Hoffman Estates
1996 Ford F-350 Powerstroke Diesel
This isnt your average, ordinary F-350, El Verde Chupacabra is the truck of legend.... seriously, its so epic, if Kurt Cobaine had driven this truck, he might still be around today, Chuck norris once drove a beast like this and stopped after 5 minutes and asked to get out.... he couldnt handle the AWESOMENESS of this rig ..... Now while it wont win any beauty contests, it'll get you and what you want down the road in one piece- ever see what one of these trucks does to a newer "safer" vehicle out on the road now... destroys them worse then sandusky destroyed Penn States reputation. Meanwhile youre cruising around like a badass saying, " step up to get screwed up next poor schmuck that doesnt move out of my way."
looking for a kickass deer lease vehicle... look no further, this truck has 4 doors and windows so you can cruise through the woods doing redneck drive-by's on all the local wildlife.... Hunting isnt your thing, cool, use it to haul your boat, and feel free to back it into the saltwater... Its old and doesnt give a crap, it'll take the abuse and just ask for more, this bad boy aint made like the newer ones... EL Verde Chupacabra will hold up. Shifting gears in traffic not your thing? sweet, cause this truck is rocking an E4OD automatic transmission like a boss, just push the pedal and go wherever you want to go, and not give a sh!t.
Use it on the jobsite to haul concrete, rocks, or to transport Honey Boo Boo's mama- June, cause no other vehicle on the road would be able to handle the abuse or indignity of that woman riding around in the bed like EL VERDE CHUPACABRA.... Remember guys Fat chicks are welcome in this truck... its a one ton!!!!!!!!!!!!
How does it handle? Like a kid with ADHD high on coke and bathsalts while also drinking absynithe, goes around corners like the devil himself is chasing you and not give a care in the world
Whats that you want a 4 wheel drive? Sorry this isnt the truck for you, and honestly if you want one.... dont look at getting a diesel.... In the mud they are no better then anchors unless you have a lift of 6-12 inches... Other wise expect it to act like a pig and wallow in the mud. Interior is actually pretty clean for an almost 20 yr old truck. Has power windows in the all the way around ( though it needs new motors and one rear window glass) so if ninjas or local gangs dissing your territory and are attacking you from behind you dont have to stop the truck, open the doors and expose yourself while you fight them off.
This truck is the manliest truck i have ever owned. It literally oozes testosterone. So much so that its blowing out of the tailpipe, in the form of black smoke.
Seats? This sucker has one hella comfortable bench seat. Its in the front for you and that Skank at your local bar thats gunna be all up on your junk after you buy this redneck pimp machine, and no seat currently in the back so you can do whatever you want to with your new found female companion. You're a girl? that works both ways. Use the front bench seat for both you and that hot @$$ dude you've been trying to hook up with for weeks, and utilize the empty space in the back for both of you to do whatever you desire. Can also utilize the empty space in the back seat to pimp yourself and this truck out to the Cartels as a "drug runner" i think thats what its called on Border wars, Any way if thats not your thing and you dont wanna get down and make a mess in your awesome new ride or get busted by the Border Patrol for hauling ganja, cush, breaking bads crystal meth and more... cool, thats why it has an 8 foot bed in the back that never has to be made, and when your not doing the nasty in the bed you can utilize the gooseneck hitch in the bed so you can make some money when your not busy attracting the opposite sex like a magnet. Just come to terms with it people... cause this just happened
Stereos are for hipsters.... be a real american . Fortunately this truck has one thats stuck on a mexican radio station and wont change.... Oh look at me, I like listening to carly rae jepsen and kenny g while i think about all the woodland critters that die from the melting polar ice caps. Forget that. The only noises you're gunna be hearing is the ultra manly engine noises coming from this sweet 7.3 liter direct injected v8 diesel engine ( AKA the first POWERSTROKE diese, one of the most legendary motors out therel) with 225 horses of pure detroit steel. This engine will outlast the truck if you take care of it. Thats right, its getting real, real fast. This truck is such a beast that it has 380k miles on the body, 150k on the motor ( no oil/ fuel leaks), and 220k on the trans ( shifts firm but needs a fluid/ filter change and a possible torque converter later on).... This beast is still tearing up the roads... and will for several more years to come, after all this is EL VERDE CHUPACABRA!!!!!!!!!
Now what it needs: 1 window motor, one window ( currently has plexiglass in place so water doesnt get in and you can see out) one tail light, fluids/ Filters changed ( trans and engine), Flux Capacitor, mr fusion home reactor system, blinker fluid, fuzzy dice for the rear view mirror, brakes need to be bled, possible back seat ( or not if you wanna put a badass stero system or be able to screw around or haul ganja bryan cranstans secret meth stash/ whatever floats your boat), some minor body work ( few dents and dings from being used on the farm)
I originally bought the truck with the intent of chopping the bed and frame down, turning it into a lowrider, and building up the engine to around 500 horses and use it as a race/ sleeper truck.... Alas this truck is too epic for even myself to handle, and i have decided to sell it to someone who will have more fun with the truck then i will. After all, who wants to come home after working 14 hours a day and spend a few more hours trickin out a truck.... not i
Truck is for sale at 2500 negotiable, good running rebuilt motor, transmission, and axle are worth what i'm asking. Not lookin for scammers, or lowballers.... i am not in a huge hurry to sell it, just would rather see someone turn this chuck norris pimp machine into something that will serve them better them me... Its just sitting in my yard.
However i will trade straight up for a 1992-1996 ford bronco in decent shape ( this is really what i'm going for, with possible ben franklin and a bunch of his twin brothers in your hand for the bronco), magic pixie dust that cheech and chong rant about in that one 80's movie, a date with Katie Armiger ( houston born country singer), a deloran time machine, aladdins lamp ( has to have the genie, and 3 useable wishes), a older harley davidson fatboy motorcycle, or an rv-3 experimental airplane. Thanks for looking and hope you enjoyed the ad.