What made you laugh today?


SMRTSS1

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Holy fuck the too much Vaseline guy!!!! We used to call them the uppercut practice dummies. Usually the same guys that spar with an oversized belt and turn into track stars in the ring because they don’t want to get hit. We had one guy that put half the pot of grease on his face then put the headgear on……one hook and couldn’t see out of one eye because the thing would spin, aptly nicknamed “Captain Hook”.
 

SMRTSS1

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Our new guys that’ve been here since February were told they have 2 weeks to be able to run jobs on their own. I’ve never seen so many lazy do nothings scramble so fast in my life. Now all of a sudden they care about knowing how to do their jobs and learning the “boring details” like learning how to get the right cable and what tools/hardware they need BEFORE we leave the garage. Their eyes lit up like it was their first time seeing fireworks.
“Dude you need to help us! You never told us half of this shit!!!”
Me “Yes I did. Remember all the times I said pay attention and this is important when I was trying to show you this stuff? This is why.”
They’re suddenly regretting not paying attention for the last 5 months. I’m predicting half quit, 3 or 4 get “hurt” to avoid working and two get fired. The senior guys are starting a pool and we’re trying to figure out how to do odds or an over/under.
 

SpeedSpeak2me

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Was on the cruiser for a quick ride. Southbound County Farm at Lies, in the left lane. In the right lane pulls up a kid in his Chevy Sonic or something with an obnoxiously loud popping exhaust.

I turn my head and give the “shhh” sign. He proceeds to stick his arm out the window, flip me off, tells me to go fuck myself, then puts the engine on the limiter for about 10 seconds making himself look like a complete ass, pissing of everyone around him.

What he didn’t bother to do, as most don’t, is look around first. CSPD sitting right behind him in a fully marked squad shaking his head.

Light went green and CSPD went lights and siren.

Wish I had a helmet cam for that one.
 

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