Ok seriously? I would probably steal the narrator off of Fred Savage (wonder years) for my childhood and then, probably Jerry Stiller for the present and future. Because I would want a crazy old man to narrate from a flashback perspective.
I would like Samuel L Jackson to pick up my life at like 16, Chris Rock could do the first 16 years. I watched Everybody Hates Chris a bunch the other day and he cracks me up.