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"What's that website? Amazon" - hahaha
Jeremy Clarkson of Top Gear fame has (or had) the best job in the world. At least thatâs what the majority of guys think about driving fast cars fast while shouting. The proposition of getting paid big bucks for following your dreams is an intriguing one, I agree, but being Jeremy Clarkson isnât a 9 to 5 job.
Being an international superstar can sometimes be hard due to the nearly constant attention you get from the mass media. Put yourself in Jezzaâs shoes for one day and think about the headlines in the British tabloids and the annals on the internet. Hereâs a small taste of what the old orangutan has to live with:
Mr. Mid-Life Crisis (The Telegraph), Hereâs Six Times the BBC Should Have Suspended Jeremy Clarkson but Didnât (Time), Piers Morgan Calls Jeremy Clarkson a Chicken for Refusing Charity Boxing Match (NY Daily), Jeremy Clarksonâs ÂŁ10m Testosterone Fest (Money Week), Jeremy Clarkson on Love Cheat Rumours: Iâm the New Tiger Wood Read (Metro), and so forth.
But tabloid poison isnât far from being miasmatic to Jeremy because his fans and followers are on the other side of the barricade. Contrary to popular belief, these fans do know a thing or two about empathy, people's capacity to keep going when problems overwhelm and sadness smothers.
Think of this relationship between Clarkson and his fans as a symbiosis: Jeremy makes our lives better by being a buffoon on the television and in his newspaper columns, we return the favor by watching Top Gear by being amused and tapping him on the shoulder via Twitter or a subscription to Amazon Prime.
Another give-and-take relationship comes in the form of a Q&A session such as the one Jeremy Clarkson started on Facebook a few hours ago. The thread is full of thousands of comments, which is why Iâll highlight the funniest questions and answers of the lot. Here's what you've been waiting for:
Q: âHi Jeremy, have any of the new films been shot in the UK or have you been mostly working abroad for the show? Have you done any âreal worldâ tests?â
A: âWell I'm in Dorset now with this idiot [James May]. Is that real world enough for you?â
Q: âDo you think it will put your Topgear fans off the show because Amazon TV relies on extra subscription, compared to the other channel?â
A: âYes. You're right. The BBC is free. No, hang on....â
Q: âJeremy Clarkson, what is the greatest supercar ever created?â
A: âFerrari F40â
Q: âFavourite country you've visited whilst on Top Gear and why?â
A: âBotswana was my favourite. Happy timesâ
Q: âWhat's the worst car out there right now?â
A: âThe Mitsubishi phevâ [editorâs note: I think heâs referring to the Outlander PHEV]
Q: âHave you thought of doing a full blown military episode. Test driving 3 of most common military vehicles IE US Army Humvee one of The British troop transports and maybe a Russian. And what is a memory you have of working with the military?â
A: âTomorrow, I'm in a Challenger. Is that OK?â
Q: âDo you still shoot?â
A: âYes. Tomorrow I'm shooting a 120mm shell. Erect yet?â
Q: âI got Amazon Prime because of this show and this show alone. Will you still have the same access to vehicles like on Top Gear?â
A: âOh yesâ
Q: âWill you be the first Star in a reasonably priced car on Top Gear to plug your as untitled new show?â
A:âNoâ
Q: âHands down, the best presenter, in the world...!â
A: âI agreeâ
Q: âHow do turbos work?â
A: âI've explained this before: witchcraftâ
Q: âHow many episodes can we expect in the first season? Also, will TheUntitledAmazonCarShow be aired somewhere else as well or only on Prime?â
A: â12 episodes in the first seriesâ
Q: âwhen new show starts? :>â
A: âIn the Autumnâ
Q: âWhat's the new show called?â
A: âDonât knowâ
Q: âDo you and Jeff Bezos get on well?â
A: âWe havenât metâ
Q: âWould you buy a Dacia Sandero ?â
A: âYes. If I was poorâ
Q: âWhat do you drive now?â
A: âGolf GTi. Cool eh?â
Q: âHow short is Richard Hammond?â
A: âStupidlyâ
Q: âWhat is your favourite peugeot?â
A: âThat's like asking me to name my favourite eye infectionâ
Q: âHow grey is James May's hair?â
A: âItâs a wigâ
Q: âAre you going to kill James May on camera?â
A: âIâd like to do thatâ
Q: âAre you sick of Q&A yet?â
A: âI'm on a long journey so no, not yetâ
Read more: Jeremy Clarkson Q&A on Facebook Is Laugh-Out-Loud Funny