3800 Parental problems...

[imported_Ron Vogel]

Ok, so I had the kids today as my wife had to go to her sister's baby shower. I had them help me do an oil change on my wife's car then I was going to take them fishing. I called my Dad to see if he wanted to come with us so he could spend some time with his grandkids. He comes by, and he was looking pretty tired. I thought I better drive into the park since it didn't look like he was up for a walk.

We get to the first spot, and had to walk about 100 yards to it. He was spent from that, and we ended up only staying there a few minutes. Then instead of walking to the next spot, we got back in the car and drove to the boat launch so we didn't have to be too far from the car. He sits down on the launch, and when he gets up, falls right back down onto the rocks and gravel doing a number on his arm. I had to help him get up, and he couldn't steady himself enough to even get back to the car. It looked real bad, I mean like hospital time. He shrugged it off, and I took him back to his car at my place and he drove himself home.

So I called my sister to see if she can talk some sense into him...and get his ass to a doctor. She was on the phone with him for over 2 hours to find, he hasn't been to the doctor in awhile, and hasn't taken his blood pressure medication in a long time. I thought something was up, about a month ago he fell down on a walk by himself and wasn't able to get up for 45 minutes. I mean WTF, why he won't get checked out is beyond me.

I just had to go through my Mom having her 2nd heart attack 2 weeks ago, and she's not taking care of herself either.

I really don't know where to begin with talking to either of them, I already have my own family to take care of. It seems pretty inconsiderate on both their parts that the kids barely get to see them as it is, let alone if both of the croak from being stupid.

Sorry for the rant; been brewing for awhile.

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[TommyGloves]

Ron - Sorry to hear about your mom. That issue with your dad also sounds scary.

I can kinda relate. My mom has a degenerative condition in the neck-part of her spine where the "cushions" between the vertebrae are dissappearing. The doctors say there is nothing they can do for her. She's acting like it will get better.

I've been telling her to sell her house and get something closer to my family. Something that's easier to take care of...like a condo. She refuses to sell the house now because she wants to live there until she retires in 4 years. Given how bad it's gotten over the past two years, I don't think she'll be able to work in 4 years.

I told her that next year I'm going to come in for a couple hours every weekend and start going through stuff to get her packed up and ready to move. I don't want her "stuck" in a house with stairs, etc. At this point, I know I'm making a good desicion that will help her in the long run. She'll be pissed at me...but so what.

I guess what I'm saying, sometimes the duties of parent and child get reversed as we get older. Our parents begin to act immature and irrational. We have to be the voice of reason and do what's good for them. We have to "parent" our parents.

As busy as you are, I'm pretty sure it's going to take some of your time to get them the help they need. Hopefully you and your sister can work something out and force the issue with them. Use the grandkids as guilt tactics.

I hope everything works out.

 

[imported_1fastGTP]

Sorry to hear... My Grandpa is the exact same way!!! i went to his house one day to fix the toilet and have some dinner, when we were about to leave they have two stairs going down to there door and he fell down them. he refuses to get hearing aids... hes just stubborn.. if your own family cant get you to do anything what will? goodluck tho ron hope everything works out.

 

[98SilvermistGT]

Hey Ron,

Im really sorry to hear about your mom and dad. Parents can be so stuck in their ways and stubborn. Maybe they just dont want to admit they cant do it all anymore and they need help. Its really hard for anyone of us to admit that. My parents are the same way. My mom continues to drink herself to death and she wonders why her health is failing. You think it would open her eyes because my grandpa is dying slowly in a nursing home in the latter stages of alcoholism. After two or so strokes now... My dad continues to smoke despite he cannot breathe and he refuses to get his hearing checked or admit he is getting older. His back is so bad but he wont stop doing things that make it worse and injure him for months. Its a never ending cycle it seems. All we can do is try to be there for them and if we are able make decisions that are in their best interest even if they do not see it that way. Hopefully they will at some point see we love them and want them around in our lives and our childrens lives. We love them... I hope you can work something out... Take care...

Morgan

 

[imported_Ron Vogel]

Thanks guys. I had my sister call him last night to check up on him. She's always been closer to him than me, but she didn't get much headway.

Turns out he hasn't been taking his blood pressure medication for awhile now, I called him today to nicely tell him to start again. I'd go over there, but I'm leaving for Dallas this afternoon and don't have time. I'm going to have to get on his case harder when I get back.

 

[framos242]

Ron,

Sometimes you have to be the one to take control and have them go to the doctor. My mother is stubborn. When she began getting pains in her knees, I would tell he to make an appointment. Did she? Nope. It wasn't until I grabbed the phone dialed the number and gave her the phone that she made an appointment. Unfortunately, she had to have her knee replaced due to arthitis. She still needs the left knee but it being stuuborn about that. Sadly, her pain in her left knee is getting worse.

You may have to be the parent of your parents so that they can get medical advice and/or take care of themselves.

 

[TonzKnock-G]

^^^^

Yup....sometimes it takes making thier appointments for them and dragging them to the office! Thats what my mom does to my grandmother.

GL