Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.
Mr. T hates playing 'Rock Paper Scissors' because he doesn't believe anything could beat rock. He always chooses rock, and when someone throws paper, he says,"I win." If someone is foolish enough to dispute this, he takes his clenched fist and punches them in the face, then says, "I thought your paper would protect you."
Condoms were not invented because Mr. T's penis needed protection, but because the world needed protection from Mr. T's penis.
Children are afraid of the dark. Dark is afraid of Mr. T.
Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.
When Mr. T folds his arms, the U.S. Terror Alert Level is raised to gold.
The last man who made eye contact with Mr. T was Ray Charles.
Mr. T was cast in "Indepdence day" but the Director later reconseidered this decision owing to the fact that no one would believe that it would take Mr. T more than 15 minutes to beat those aliens.
Mr. T doesn't pity anyone who likes the Black Eyed Peas. He just kills them.
Mr T. and Chuck Norris decided to spar, they travelled to the only safe place in the Universe, the beginning of time. They bowed to each other and Chuck launched in with a roundhouse kick. Mr. T blocked it, and the resulting pressure wave is commonly called the Big Bang.
Mr. T recently opened a Psychic hotline, one in which he takes every call. No matter the question he is asked, he gives only one response: "My prediction? Pain." He then goes out and personally pummels each caller witin an inch of their life, because Mr. T can never be wrong.
Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. the result was the 80's.
Rocky III was a groundbreaking film. It took 135 special effects artists 13 months to make it seem like Rocky won the second fight to Mr. T.
Mr. T isn't afraid of flying, but God fears the consequences of letting him fall.
Mr. T doesn't breathe, air just hides in his lungs for protection.
5 out of 5 doctors recommend not pissing off Mr. T.
Mary had a little lamb, then Mr. T ate it.
Human females have two X chromosomes. Males have an X and a Y. Mr. T has
three Ys and a T. He's more man than you'll ever be.
23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.
When creating the alphabet, Mr. T placed the letters M, R, and T in seperate areas so people could learn to read and spell without fear.
Mr. T once captured Bigfoot, but released him after he shaved the beast and realized that it was just Chuck Norris walking around naked in the woods.
Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday.
When Mr. T received his star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame, he made his hand prints after the cement was dry.
Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him.
Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.
There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk.
Mr. T puts the laughter in manslaughter.
On the hit show "The A-Team," Mr. T often threw his opponents around during brawls. In fact, stuntmen were thrown at Mr. T, who then caught them, and the footage was played in reverse. This was because any man thrown by Mr. T would break the sound barrier and die instantly.
If Mr. T wants some shade, he stares the sun down until it eclipses.
On the A-team, Face , Haniabal, and Murdoch were all masters of disguise. Mr T didn't have to wear a disguise. The bad guys didn't recognize him out of fear.
Mr. T hates playing 'Rock Paper Scissors' because he doesn't believe anything could beat rock. He always chooses rock, and when someone throws paper, he says,"I win." If someone is foolish enough to dispute this, he takes his clenched fist and punches them in the face, then says, "I thought your paper would protect you."
Condoms were not invented because Mr. T's penis needed protection, but because the world needed protection from Mr. T's penis.
Children are afraid of the dark. Dark is afraid of Mr. T.
Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.
When Mr. T folds his arms, the U.S. Terror Alert Level is raised to gold.
The last man who made eye contact with Mr. T was Ray Charles.
Mr. T was cast in "Indepdence day" but the Director later reconseidered this decision owing to the fact that no one would believe that it would take Mr. T more than 15 minutes to beat those aliens.
Mr. T doesn't pity anyone who likes the Black Eyed Peas. He just kills them.
Mr T. and Chuck Norris decided to spar, they travelled to the only safe place in the Universe, the beginning of time. They bowed to each other and Chuck launched in with a roundhouse kick. Mr. T blocked it, and the resulting pressure wave is commonly called the Big Bang.
Mr. T recently opened a Psychic hotline, one in which he takes every call. No matter the question he is asked, he gives only one response: "My prediction? Pain." He then goes out and personally pummels each caller witin an inch of their life, because Mr. T can never be wrong.
Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. the result was the 80's.
Rocky III was a groundbreaking film. It took 135 special effects artists 13 months to make it seem like Rocky won the second fight to Mr. T.
Mr. T isn't afraid of flying, but God fears the consequences of letting him fall.
Mr. T doesn't breathe, air just hides in his lungs for protection.
5 out of 5 doctors recommend not pissing off Mr. T.
Mary had a little lamb, then Mr. T ate it.
Human females have two X chromosomes. Males have an X and a Y. Mr. T has
three Ys and a T. He's more man than you'll ever be.
23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.
When creating the alphabet, Mr. T placed the letters M, R, and T in seperate areas so people could learn to read and spell without fear.
Mr. T once captured Bigfoot, but released him after he shaved the beast and realized that it was just Chuck Norris walking around naked in the woods.
Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday.
When Mr. T received his star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame, he made his hand prints after the cement was dry.
Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him.
Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.
There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk.
Mr. T puts the laughter in manslaughter.
On the hit show "The A-Team," Mr. T often threw his opponents around during brawls. In fact, stuntmen were thrown at Mr. T, who then caught them, and the footage was played in reverse. This was because any man thrown by Mr. T would break the sound barrier and die instantly.
If Mr. T wants some shade, he stares the sun down until it eclipses.
On the A-team, Face , Haniabal, and Murdoch were all masters of disguise. Mr T didn't have to wear a disguise. The bad guys didn't recognize him out of fear.
