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I can't speak to reliability, but generally speaking I think the old Honda 5-speed had longevity issues that plagued many Honda V-6 models for a while. Don't recall if it's something they worked out prior to that. Performance-wise, it's always been a good performing transmission in that generation.
Here's a three-row SUV test we did before the Pilot's redesign. The top three were Santa Fe, Durango and Highlander. The results are so close, however, that you really need to pick which SUV does the best at what you need, like third row room for child seats, driving enjoyment, fuel economy, etc.
https://www.cars.com/articles/the-40000-3-row-suv-challenge/