My son is getting over an ear/sinus infection and has that tickling cough that’s keeping us all up (wife and I have it too of course). We finally get him to fall asleep and “sneak” downstairs and my wife decides it’s a great time to put dishes away. To put it in perspective the ceiling in my main level of my townhome is at the same height as the ceiling in the upstairs bedrooms and the main level is very open so sound carries. That means you don’t put pots, pans, cookie sheets, baking pans and casserole dishes away when the 2 year old JUST fell asleep. Especially if you’re my clumsy wife who wouldn’t know how to be quiet if her life depended on it. Guess who dropped the baking pans and woke up the the toddler? My wonderful anti-ninja wife! I told her “You woke him up, you put him back to sleep!” I put the rest of the dishes away without making a single sound loud enough to travel out of the kitchen.
Things that are quieter than my wife;
The Ohio State Marching Band falling down stairs.
A Fourth of July fireworks show at a fireworks factory.
A baboon learning to play drums with Rush’s “Tom Sawyer”.
The Mexican Independence Day parade.
The house party in Cicero after the Mexican Independence Day parade.
The beach in Normandy on D-Day.
Putting drum cymbals in a bag with marbles and throwing it down a flight of stairs.
She got him back to sleep and then decided to start up her one man band imitation in the bathroom across the hall from my sons bedroom when she was taking a shower. FUCK!!! He’s awake again. I got him back to sleep with some daddy cuddles and classical music. Wife comes out of the bathroom and I told her “If this was like that movie A Quiet Place you’d be the first one killed. Seriously, learn to be fucking quiet. I don’t care what you’re doing, do it fucking quietly!” At the very least it’ll be a little quieter in the house since I’m sure my wife won’t be talking to me for a while.
Things that are quieter than my wife;
The Ohio State Marching Band falling down stairs.
A Fourth of July fireworks show at a fireworks factory.
A baboon learning to play drums with Rush’s “Tom Sawyer”.
The Mexican Independence Day parade.
The house party in Cicero after the Mexican Independence Day parade.
The beach in Normandy on D-Day.
Putting drum cymbals in a bag with marbles and throwing it down a flight of stairs.
She got him back to sleep and then decided to start up her one man band imitation in the bathroom across the hall from my sons bedroom when she was taking a shower. FUCK!!! He’s awake again. I got him back to sleep with some daddy cuddles and classical music. Wife comes out of the bathroom and I told her “If this was like that movie A Quiet Place you’d be the first one killed. Seriously, learn to be fucking quiet. I don’t care what you’re doing, do it fucking quietly!” At the very least it’ll be a little quieter in the house since I’m sure my wife won’t be talking to me for a while.