So this had to be probably 15-17yrs ago. Good friend of mine was marrying a Mexican chick and the wedding was in her town in Mexico. We flew in to Morrelia and drove a couple hours to her town. We were all over the place for 2 weeks checking out all the cities and states near us. I believe we stayed in Uriangato. My buddies Wife's Dad was the man of the town, but in a good way. He owned the only hotel in town and was building a 2nd one. I'm assuming he paid off the cartels and or police for protection. This town was fucking POOR! Familys of 4 would cruise around on a 2 seater scooter, thats not BS. None of the cars have catalytic converters so everything gets covered in black soot. Everyone else pretty much had Volkswagen Beetles or other very small cars. Then you see the fuckers cruising around in brand new pick ups with rims and sounds on them. Dont have to be a rocket scientist to figure out who they were. Your money goes a long way in the smaller towns. Back then I would get a 5th of bacardi, 2ltr of coke, bag of ice and packs of cigs for $9 US money. I'd start my day with that every single day after breakfast. Breakfast was a torta every single day with steak, ham, hot dog and chorizo. Sounds gross but was phenomenal, probably because I was hungover every day. Street vendors come out at night and tacos were literally .40 from the street vendors. Had to be careful who you bought from. Some people were known to serve dog meat, again no BS. Basically got fucked up every single day and night. Checked out all kinds of cool shit including the mummy museum. Thats the short version of my 2 weeks there.
So every night we wound up at a disco (night club) or a titty bar. Titty bar had the most gorgeous girls I have ever seen at a titty bar. Was like $2 to get it and a 3 drink minimum per person, but beers were only $2 as well. Anyway the night before my buddy gets married, me and this King from the south side go to a disco. But this one was very sketchy and I never felt comfortable. This guy was there for the wedding (knew the bride) and his family was from that town. So I stupidly took him for his word that we were going somewhere decent. I dont fear much in life and have always said "I dont fear anyone that bleeds the same color as me". I'm, not saying that to say I'm a bad MFer, believe me I have had my ass handed to me more than once both one on one and jumped numerous times. But I feel I can hold my own when it comes down to it. As mentioned I just had a bad feeling and really didnt trust this dude. He just got there the day before, but I was drunk and said fuck it lets go. So we are in this disco and sitting VIP and he orders like 4 bottles (5ths) to our table and its just him and I. So I ask him WTF, why you ordering that much. He said something along the lines of, dont worry about, your not paying for it. He was acting all big and bad, talking to girls that were there with their BF's and just general dumb, shit. I know how to handle myself and how to act when I'm out of my environment and that not the way to handle yourself. All eyes were on us and I wouldnt go piss as I knew I would probably get fucked up in the bathroom. Now he is talking to some chicks that are 15yrs old, again no BS. He tells me how old they are and that was the last straw. I told him, walk me outside and get me a cab, I'm outta here. He said something like quit being a pussy, 15yr olds are okay in Mexico. I almost knocked his ass out after that. But said fuck it I'm leaving.
Nervous as shit I walk thru the club and make it outside. But noticed a couple of dudes and girls follow me out as well. So outside I'm telling the doorman to get me a taxi and showing him my hotel key as it had the address on it. He keeps telling me in Spanish hold on one minute as there was still a long ass line to get in. I notice the group that followed me out where some teenagers maybe 18-20 years old. Its like 3-4 guys and 3-4 girls. So they are all standing out there laughing at me because I keep asking dude to get me a cab. I understand some of what they were saying and they were talking shit about me. So I'm hammered and pissed so I start talking shit back to them in English. So I tell them in Spanish Chinga De Madre (fuck your mother). I kinda knew what I said but didnt realize thats like a cardinal sin in Mexico. I have heard Mexican friends here say it all the time. The look they gave me plus other people, I was like WTF, I just fucked up and knew they were going to attack me.
I look at the doorman and he kinda looked at me like your fucked lol. Next thing you know I get blindsided by like a 125lb dude, before I could shake it off they all jumped on me. The fucking girls took their high heels off and were trying to beat me with the heel part. Someone got me good to the back of the head and dropped me to my knees. So then all the kicks started coming to my ribs and back of my head. I basically just covered up and was yelling no mas no mas (no more). This all started and was over in less than 2 minutes it was very quick. So after they stopped beating the shit out of me, I feel someone helping me up. Its the doorman, he is helping me to his car. I get it, and he jumps in and starts driving. This MFer looks at me and says to me in perfect English "damn bro, your fucking crazy for saying that in Mexico, are you okay do you need to go to the hospital" I looked at him and said, you speak English? He says, ya bro, I grew up in Miami, I'm running from the police so I came out here by my family. Only thing going thru my head was, punch this MFer lol. I didnt, he got me to my hotel and iirc I offered him $20 and he wouldnt take it.
Next day, my buddy who was getting married came to my hotel room to check on me because him and the bride already heard about it. We were like 2 towns away at the disco and they still heard about it lol. I was cool, bumps all over my head and my body was sore as fuck. Went to the wedding later that night and seen the guy from the south side that took me to that club. I walked up to his table while sober. Told him, if I ever see him again outside of this wedding, you better be ready cause me and you got problems now. To this day I have never seen him again. I have been to parties at their house and he has always asked if I was coming and once he heard yes he doesnt come lol. My buddy and his Wife eventually had 2 daughters. I told my buddies Wife to be careful around that scumbag as her daughters get older. She asked why and I told her he wanted to and might have fucked a 15yr old in Mexico. She said she has always heard rumors about him liking younger girls. Pretty sure they dont talk to him anymore.
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