The new/new-ish dad thread

Blood on Blood

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Apr 6, 2005
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Saturday morning I got up at 2:50 am to go deer hunting. Got home at 9:30 at night, and my wife tells me to shower and get dressed because we are going to the hospital. A few hours later, we had a little girl. Named her Zelie Louise. This is our 5th. Here's a picture of her almost two year old brother holding her for the first time. He was over the moon.
View attachment 185445

Congratulations!
 
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Jimbo

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Aug 16, 2005
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Beware of long sob story. I really just need to vent. Dad life has started out a bit rough. Even my wife has been saying that if this shit keeps up, we may be capping our kid count at one.

The last post I made in this thread was the day after he was born, and it's been an emotional roller coaster ever since. Elliott was brought into the NICU to regulate his blood sugar. That was taken care of really quick, but he ended up staying for 16 days because he kept desatting. Three days before he went home he was taken off oxygen, and his levels remained acceptable for the remainder of his stay. We were very excited to bring him home and finally start having a normal family life, but that only lasted three days.

We went to his first pediatrician appointment where they found his O2 to be chilling in the 80s. That was concerning, so he was ordered a nap study which basically a sleep study for babies. He had a ton of crap attached to him for 6 hours and it made him miserable. I don't blame him. Look at all those wires!
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Until this point I was keeping my cool. I had to display an annoying amount of optimism to keep my wife from spiralling into some serious post-partum depression. Neither the pregnancy nor the birth, nor the family life has gone smoothly or as expected. It's really been one bummer after another which is wearing her down. I was convinced that Elliott was fine and just needed his lungs to mature anyway because that's what all the NICU nurses were saying. Unfortunately, the results of the nap study said otherwise which felt like a big middle finger.

Elliott has severe obstructive sleep apnea and it kills me to learn that this super chill baby who rarely cries is likely this way because he's too tired to put up a fuss. Even worse is that his o2 went down to the very low 80s and stayed there 6 minutes. Apparently that's bad enough to cause brain damage. šŸ˜ž We also won't know if it did until he's old enough to show developmental or behavioral issues so it'll be nice to have that hanging over our heads. How this poor kid managed to pass a 3 day oxygen test to get out of the NICU is beyond any of us, but until the doctors fix whatever is causing the obstruction, we have to keep Elliott on oxygen and a monitor whenever he's sleeping.

My optimism has quickly turned into depression, and my wife is kind of just a zombie who hasn't had time for sleep or emotions between endless appointments, unsuccessful breast feeding, and preparing for an upcoming back surgery. I try to take on any house chores I can, but she insists that she doesn't want me doing anything. I don't know if I should be happy that she's got things that keep her mind busy or worried that her mind is too busy to get good sleep or let a good cry out. I'm just trying to keep the mood as light as I can.

Meanwhile, I'm not exactly in great shape either. I have a history of tumors in my mouth and my dentist just found a new one. Joys. My jaw has been messed up for about 15 years, but it's just now starting to get problematic and painful to eat. Insurance may not cover that $5500 device to fix it either. I still have to figure that out. I'm gaining weight like crazy too. We haven't exactly found motivation to cook through all this, but I'm hoping all this will soon pass.

I don't wish this shit on anyone. This oxygen and monitor is such a massive pain in the ass on top of the normal new baby stressors. We are very hopeful that the fix is just having his tonsils and some other soft palate removed. Apparently that's a very likely cause for this in babies. We only know that surgery is inevitable.
View attachment 184391

I don't know if any of you guys have had a chronically sick newborn, but man I'd like to know.how you held up and how you juggled the rest of life's nonsense. I've been getting by, but it can't keep this up forever. I about lost it today because I somehow lost my brand new rake... Seriously. Where the fuck did I put it? I caught the mom brain.

I love this little man to death. I hate that he appears so happy and healthy yet we need to keep pissing him off with all these tests and devices. It's not fair.
View attachment 184395
How are you and the family doing?
 

v6buicks

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Oct 22, 2018
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How are you and the family doing?
I wish I could say it got better. We added a new small struggle just yesterday. My wife had an elective back surgery. It was nothing major, but she's still going to have a hard time bending over for diaper changes, getting in/out of bed, ect. We did that to ourselves to save money though so nobody is upset over that.

What sucks is the news we got from the pediatric ENT last week. We were super excited when he told us right away what the diagnosis was and how he was going to treat it with surgery. There would be no more testing or extra appointments until then. It was when the nurse scheduled the surgery for May that put our jaws on the floor. On top of that, he needs to stay on oxygen for at least three months AFTER the surgery when he will have to pass another nap study. That puts Elliott on oxygen until August. We were really shooting for before January. šŸ˜£ From what we've learned, this surgery is kind of a crap shoot too. It's possible that his oxygen will just be replaced by a CPAP machine when he's old enough to wear the mask. I'm trying not to think about that too much.

I'm starting to see the patterns of how much of a pain in the ass this oxygen is going to be. He's naturally a great sleeper for a newborn, but we have to make him a fussy pain in the ass all day whenever he falls asleep without wearing the cannula. It really sucks feeding an excited baby, having him fall asleep peacefully on chest while your burping him, and instead of enjoying the moment ripping the stickers that hold the tube to his face and make him scream. :cry: You can't just pick him up and go anywhere either. His great-grandparents haven't gotten to meet him yet, and that kind of stinks. When you can't travel overnight without completely filling the car full of equipment, it's basically out of the question. We are going up to visit my family the week before Christmas and that is all we have planned. We are asking for gifts to be kept to a minimum because we will have no room in the car for heaps of shit. The struggles will adapt as he ages. Right now he is in onsies and mittens all the time. Without hand coverings he WILL pull the tube off his face. I can only imagine how much worse this will be as he gains motor skills. At leas he shouldn't have to be on the tank as much when he stops falling asleep as randomly.

Positives are that we are all off the couch and back in bed. I have a good routine going where I get feed him right before I go to work every day. Mom gets the night shift since she's off work. I found enough time to rake the yard one last time before I switch to mulching. I think I have enough side projects I can do in the house that will keep me busy through winter and allow me to watch Elliott at the same time. He's still cute as hell, so he's worth the trouble.
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Couldn't help myself. He's been through some shit, so we let his bad habits slide a little.
1700080447102.png
 

Jimbo

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Aug 16, 2005
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I wish I could say it got better. We added a new small struggle just yesterday. My wife had an elective back surgery. It was nothing major, but she's still going to have a hard time bending over for diaper changes, getting in/out of bed, ect. We did that to ourselves to save money though so nobody is upset over that.

What sucks is the news we got from the pediatric ENT last week. We were super excited when he told us right away what the diagnosis was and how he was going to treat it with surgery. There would be no more testing or extra appointments until then. It was when the nurse scheduled the surgery for May that put our jaws on the floor. On top of that, he needs to stay on oxygen for at least three months AFTER the surgery when he will have to pass another nap study. That puts Elliott on oxygen until August. We were really shooting for before January. šŸ˜£ From what we've learned, this surgery is kind of a crap shoot too. It's possible that his oxygen will just be replaced by a CPAP machine when he's old enough to wear the mask. I'm trying not to think about that too much.

I'm starting to see the patterns of how much of a pain in the ass this oxygen is going to be. He's naturally a great sleeper for a newborn, but we have to make him a fussy pain in the ass all day whenever he falls asleep without wearing the cannula. It really sucks feeding an excited baby, having him fall asleep peacefully on chest while your burping him, and instead of enjoying the moment ripping the stickers that hold the tube to his face and make him scream. :cry: You can't just pick him up and go anywhere either. His great-grandparents haven't gotten to meet him yet, and that kind of stinks. When you can't travel overnight without completely filling the car full of equipment, it's basically out of the question. We are going up to visit my family the week before Christmas and that is all we have planned. We are asking for gifts to be kept to a minimum because we will have no room in the car for heaps of shit. The struggles will adapt as he ages. Right now he is in onsies and mittens all the time. Without hand coverings he WILL pull the tube off his face. I can only imagine how much worse this will be as he gains motor skills. At leas he shouldn't have to be on the tank as much when he stops falling asleep as randomly.

Positives are that we are all off the couch and back in bed. I have a good routine going where I get feed him right before I go to work every day. Mom gets the night shift since she's off work. I found enough time to rake the yard one last time before I switch to mulching. I think I have enough side projects I can do in the house that will keep me busy through winter and allow me to watch Elliott at the same time. He's still cute as hell, so he's worth the trouble.
View attachment 185707
View attachment 185708
View attachment 185710
Couldn't help myself. He's been through some shit, so we let his bad habits slide a little.
View attachment 185709
While August seems like a long time away, it'll fly by. What a handsome little dude you got there! You guys will continue to adapt and overcome, no doubt. And smart on the elective surgery while your likely done with all out-of-pocket deductibles at this point. If you're up for it, shoot me your PayPal, I'd like to buy you and your wife a dinner. Keep your head up, you guys got this.
 

GTPpower

TCG Elite Member
Jun 5, 2012
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Nebraska
I wish I could say it got better. We added a new small struggle just yesterday. My wife had an elective back surgery. It was nothing major, but she's still going to have a hard time bending over for diaper changes, getting in/out of bed, ect. We did that to ourselves to save money though so nobody is upset over that.

What sucks is the news we got from the pediatric ENT last week. We were super excited when he told us right away what the diagnosis was and how he was going to treat it with surgery. There would be no more testing or extra appointments until then. It was when the nurse scheduled the surgery for May that put our jaws on the floor. On top of that, he needs to stay on oxygen for at least three months AFTER the surgery when he will have to pass another nap study. That puts Elliott on oxygen until August. We were really shooting for before January. šŸ˜£ From what we've learned, this surgery is kind of a crap shoot too. It's possible that his oxygen will just be replaced by a CPAP machine when he's old enough to wear the mask. I'm trying not to think about that too much.

I'm starting to see the patterns of how much of a pain in the ass this oxygen is going to be. He's naturally a great sleeper for a newborn, but we have to make him a fussy pain in the ass all day whenever he falls asleep without wearing the cannula. It really sucks feeding an excited baby, having him fall asleep peacefully on chest while your burping him, and instead of enjoying the moment ripping the stickers that hold the tube to his face and make him scream. :cry: You can't just pick him up and go anywhere either. His great-grandparents haven't gotten to meet him yet, and that kind of stinks. When you can't travel overnight without completely filling the car full of equipment, it's basically out of the question. We are going up to visit my family the week before Christmas and that is all we have planned. We are asking for gifts to be kept to a minimum because we will have no room in the car for heaps of shit. The struggles will adapt as he ages. Right now he is in onsies and mittens all the time. Without hand coverings he WILL pull the tube off his face. I can only imagine how much worse this will be as he gains motor skills. At leas he shouldn't have to be on the tank as much when he stops falling asleep as randomly.

Positives are that we are all off the couch and back in bed. I have a good routine going where I get feed him right before I go to work every day. Mom gets the night shift since she's off work. I found enough time to rake the yard one last time before I switch to mulching. I think I have enough side projects I can do in the house that will keep me busy through winter and allow me to watch Elliott at the same time. He's still cute as hell, so he's worth the trouble.
View attachment 185707
View attachment 185708
View attachment 185710
Couldn't help myself. He's been through some shit, so we let his bad habits slide a little.
View attachment 185709
Man, that is rough. Hang in there. It will get better. You will look back on this and will wonder where the time went.

Watch your wife. Ask her how she's doing, and really listen and watch her. I definitely didn't do a good job of this with our first.

We have some friends that had about a 1 month old when the wife tripped and fell and broke both her elbows. She couldn't do anything for 6 weeks. Her husband literally had to do it all, including breastfeeding.
 
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Yaj Yak

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Man, that is rough. Hang in there. It will get better. You will look back on this and will wonder where the time went.

Watch your wife. Ask her how she's doing, and really listen and watch her. I definitely didn't do a good job of this with our first.

We have some friends that had about a 1 month old when the wife tripped and fell and broke both her elbows. She couldn't do anything for 6 weeks. Her husband literally had to do it all, including breastfeeding.


i wonder how he came around to being able to lactate that quickly

















:s00ls:
 

v6buicks

TCG Elite Member
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Oct 22, 2018
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Franklin, IN
While August seems like a long time away, it'll fly by. What a handsome little dude you got there! You guys will continue to adapt and overcome, no doubt. And smart on the elective surgery while your likely done with all out-of-pocket deductibles at this point. If you're up for it, shoot me your PayPal, I'd like to buy you and your wife a dinner. Keep your head up, you guys got this.
Thank you sir. She's definitely struggling with the back pains. I keep waking up to her whimpering and repositioning on top of the feedings so I'm extra sleepy today. It's worth it for the money savings though. Long story on what she had done, but it's going to relieve a lot of stress down the road too.

That's really nice of you. I am thankful for your kind gesture, but I promise we're okay! Sometimes it's just nice to vent a little, and TCG is full of good listeners with sound advice. We also have more Door Dash gift cards than we know what to do with in a rural-ish town with few dinner options! Thank you again. šŸ»

Man, that is rough. Hang in there. It will get better. You will look back on this and will wonder where the time went.

Watch your wife. Ask her how she's doing, and really listen and watch her. I definitely didn't do a good job of this with our first.

We have some friends that had about a 1 month old when the wife tripped and fell and broke both her elbows. She couldn't do anything for 6 weeks. Her husband literally had to do it all, including breastfeeding.
Big yikes. Both elbows? That sounds incredibly miserable especially with a newborn in the house.

I'm trying to keep my wife happy and entertained, but it's really hard when none of her plans have come to fruition. She is very much a planner to point of it being a flaw. When things don't go the way she planned, it's like a personal attack. We talked about how she was going to give up breast feeding. It was completely her idea, so I was really happy (without showing it too much) that she came to that decision. I just expressed my support and told her she would be a lot happier after giving that up. A couple days later I heard her crying in the nursery. She was upset that her milk was almost gone. I comforted her as much as I could, but we're very different in this case. I take most things day by day. I didn't know how to tell her that the stuff she was planning was completely beyond her control and not worth being upset about. Obviously, I didn't say any of that. There's no rationalizing.

I did make her day on our anniversary. We decided early that we weren't going to make a big deal out of it for time and money reasons. I planned to get her a card and a rose. She likes crap like that. I was standing in line to ask the flower lady where the roses were when I noticed this stupid balloon I decided to buy her instead. She laughed her ass off when I walked in the door dragging this little pony behind me. Little stuff like this goes a long a way.
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OffshoreDrilling

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Aug 28, 2007
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#1 is now 14mos
IMG_5017.jpeg
#2 is 2mos.
IMG_3562.jpeg


#2 is colicky just like her sister was. These kids are determined to never let us sleep again.

Wife went out Saturday night, I couldnā€™t set the baby down for more than 5min. Literally held her from 5pm to 7am and didnā€™t sleep. Tapped the wife in after she sobered up and got a whopping 2 hour nap in.
 

Jimbo

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Aug 16, 2005
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#1 is now 14mos
View attachment 186243
#2 is 2mos.
View attachment 186241


#2 is colicky just like her sister was. These kids are determined to never let us sleep again.

Wife went out Saturday night, I couldnā€™t set the baby down for more than 5min. Literally held her from 5pm to 7am and didnā€™t sleep. Tapped the wife in after she sobered up and got a whopping 2 hour nap in.
Odd ball suggestion, but might be worth a visit to a baby chiropractor. Been seeing/reading more and more about colicky babies that get adjustments and BAM, back to "normal."
 
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Yaj Yak

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May 24, 2007
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#1 is now 14mos
View attachment 186243
#2 is 2mos.
View attachment 186241


#2 is colicky just like her sister was. These kids are determined to never let us sleep again.

Wife went out Saturday night, I couldnā€™t set the baby down for more than 5min. Literally held her from 5pm to 7am and didnā€™t sleep. Tapped the wife in after she sobered up and got a whopping 2 hour nap in.


i tried to explain colicky to Chester Copperpot Chester Copperpot once cuz he just gets kids that show up ready to fn' go


fn guy