Beware of long sob story. I really just need to vent. Dad life has started out a bit rough. Even my wife has been saying that if this shit keeps up, we may be capping our kid count at one.
The last post I made in this thread was the day after he was born, and it's been an emotional roller coaster ever since. Elliott was brought into the NICU to regulate his blood sugar. That was taken care of really quick, but he ended up staying for 16 days because he kept desatting. Three days before he went home he was taken off oxygen, and his levels remained acceptable for the remainder of his stay. We were very excited to bring him home and finally start having a normal family life, but that only lasted three days.
We went to his first pediatrician appointment where they found his O2 to be chilling in the 80s. That was concerning, so he was ordered a nap study which basically a sleep study for babies. He had a ton of crap attached to him for 6 hours and it made him miserable. I don't blame him. Look at all those wires!
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Until this point I was keeping my cool. I had to display an annoying amount of optimism to keep my wife from spiralling into some serious post-partum depression. Neither the pregnancy nor the birth, nor the family life has gone smoothly or as expected. It's really been one bummer after another which is wearing her down. I was convinced that Elliott was fine and just needed his lungs to mature anyway because that's what all the NICU nurses were saying. Unfortunately, the results of the nap study said otherwise which felt like a big middle finger.
Elliott has severe obstructive sleep apnea and it kills me to learn that this super chill baby who rarely cries is likely this way because he's too tired to put up a fuss. Even worse is that his o2 went down to the very low 80s and stayed there 6 minutes. Apparently that's bad enough to cause brain damage.

We also won't know if it did until he's old enough to show developmental or behavioral issues so it'll be nice to have that hanging over our heads. How this poor kid managed to pass a 3 day oxygen test to get out of the NICU is beyond any of us, but until the doctors fix whatever is causing the obstruction, we have to keep Elliott on oxygen and a monitor whenever he's sleeping.
My optimism has quickly turned into depression, and my wife is kind of just a zombie who hasn't had time for sleep or emotions between endless appointments, unsuccessful breast feeding, and preparing for an upcoming back surgery. I try to take on any house chores I can, but she insists that she doesn't want me doing anything. I don't know if I should be happy that she's got things that keep her mind busy or worried that her mind is too busy to get good sleep or let a good cry out. I'm just trying to keep the mood as light as I can.
Meanwhile, I'm not exactly in great shape either. I have a history of tumors in my mouth and my dentist just found a new one. Joys. My jaw has been messed up for about 15 years, but it's just now starting to get problematic and painful to eat. Insurance may not cover that $5500 device to fix it either. I still have to figure that out. I'm gaining weight like crazy too. We haven't exactly found motivation to cook through all this, but I'm hoping all this will soon pass.
I don't wish this shit on anyone. This oxygen and monitor is such a massive pain in the ass on top of the normal new baby stressors. We are very hopeful that the fix is just having his tonsils and some other soft palate removed. Apparently that's a very likely cause for this in babies. We only know that surgery is inevitable.
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I don't know if any of you guys have had a chronically sick newborn, but man I'd like to know.how you held up and how you juggled the rest of life's nonsense. I've been getting by, but it can't keep this up forever. I about lost it today because I somehow lost my brand new rake... Seriously. Where the fuck did I put it? I caught the mom brain.
I love this little man to death. I hate that he appears so happy and healthy yet we need to keep pissing him off with all these tests and devices. It's not fair.
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