💬 OT 🧑‍🍼 The new/new-ish dad thread
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Whatcha all doing for mom or mother in laws that are over steeping boundaries? My mom is head over heels about my daughter and that’s great. But, my mom does what she wants when she wants to and it’s really getting bad and causing problems between my wife and I.
Example: I asked my mom to cool it with the Facebook pictures of our daughter. 20 pictures posted on her Facebook with out permission is excessive every time they visit. So I had a talk with her explaining that her Facebook isn’t secure and we don’t appreciate that at all. Please take all the pictures you want to but keep it off Facebook. Yesterday we went to their house for a visit because it was my dads birthday and before we got home there was 30 pictures posted on Facebook of my daughter. My wife flipped out at home. I feel like shit is gonna have to get ugly and I don’t want that to happen. All we are asking is for my mom to respect our boundaries. That’s it.
Example: I asked my mom to cool it with the Facebook pictures of our daughter. 20 pictures posted on her Facebook with out permission is excessive every time they visit. So I had a talk with her explaining that her Facebook isn’t secure and we don’t appreciate that at all. Please take all the pictures you want to but keep it off Facebook. Yesterday we went to their house for a visit because it was my dads birthday and before we got home there was 30 pictures posted on Facebook of my daughter. My wife flipped out at home. I feel like shit is gonna have to get ugly and I don’t want that to happen. All we are asking is for my mom to respect our boundaries. That’s it.
You answered your own question here. Have a conversation during a neutral state of mind - as in, don't try to bring it up as your wife sees pictures or whatever. Be blunt, if she can't respect that, tell her her options.
The thing is she goes off the deep end on this emotional roller coaster if I try to bring up shit that bothers us. She pulls the guilt trip making us feel like we are the bad people. It’s just toxic. I’ve talked to my dad about this and his reply is oh well she has been like this here whole life.
We have the exact same issue. My mom is who she is, but it pisses my wife off and we get into arguments over nonsense. I haven’t figured out how to fix this issue yet. My wife won’t let my mom stay as long as she lets her family stay so it is just a fucked up situation all around. I can already tell it is going to be a nightmare for years to come.
There is an app called tiny beans that we use for photos. Only people that have access to the photos are those who you invite and give access to them. Keeps people happy but off of facefuck.
There is an app called tiny beans that we use for photos. Only people that have access to the photos are those who you invite and give access to them. Keeps people happy but off of facefuck.
That seems like such a dumb problem to have. I’m glad my parents don’t have much social media. My dad has an instagram but will ask if he’s posting anything with our kids.
My sister and I (We each have two kids) sat my mother down and said, take all the pictures you want, but ask what you can/cannot post. It was emotional and she got upset but we told her the only out was if we could control who her social media friends are (theres some questionable people always and the older crowd will accept any friend requests). She's backed down, but there was strength in numbers. Just have to sit em down and lay out the rules .
I genuinely don’t understand people’s obsession with sharing every bit of their life with the public.
Thats my mother to a FUCKING T.... I love her but as soon as you tell her no... she cries whines and says we dont love her ETc... its like I asked you not to post 200 pictures on FB dont flip out..
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So j told my mom that she needs the throttle back on the Facebook and not 20 plus pictures of my daughter every time that visit. She got really mad and started deleting stuff off Facebook
Had mine kicked out of our baby shower and then she was kicked out of the hospital when my son was born. NFG.
We post milestones to social media, but the daily stuff is all shared with our parents/siblings through a shared iPhone photo album where they can like and comment just like FB; everyone has iPhones, which is nice. I don’t remember who, but one of our parents thought they were on FB while viewing the album.
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