💬 OT 🧑‍🍼 The new/new-ish dad thread

[OffshoreDrilling]

missed this mayhem

yall know what causes this right broski?!

Enlighten me

It was planned-ish. Want at least 2 kids, she said we’re better off getting it over with. Boom boom skeet skeet, we got a baby.

When she told me she was pregnant I think my reaction was “oh god. That was too easy”

 

[Chester Copperpot]

If we're doing a third I'm following your cue. I'm not going to try for another 3 years to have a kid and be 55 by the time that last kid graduates highschool.

Otherwise snipsnip

 

[DanJ]

Enlighten me

It was planned-ish. Want at least 2 kids, she said we’re better off getting it over with. Boom boom skeet skeet, we got a baby.

When she told me she was pregnant I think my reaction was “oh god. That was too easy”

Same. My parents took 5 years to have my brother so we figured we’d get to trying right away. Not sure how I never accidentally knocked her up over the years. Pullout champ.

 

[Yaj Yak]

Enlighten me

It was planned-ish. Want at least 2 kids, she said we’re better off getting it over with. Boom boom skeet skeet, we got a baby.

When she told me she was pregnant I think my reaction was “oh god. That was too easy”

we were kinda similar with round two like wait holy fuck it worked well aight

 

[Bob Kazamakis]

First we tried for a year, second was like a week

Then I got snipped after he was born. We done.

 

[Yaj Yak]

i needa get that did.

was looking at no scalpel style

Vasectomy Clinic | Naperville | Vasectomy Clinics of Chicago

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[Bob Kazamakis]

i needa get that did.

was looking at no scalpel style

Vasectomy Clinic | Naperville | Vasectomy Clinics of Chicago

Vasectomy Clinics of Chicago proudly serves areas like Naperville, Tinley Park, & others. Find our nearest vasectomy clinic - 312-528-9068

www.vasectomyclinics.com

That’s what I had but they were clamped not tied after cauterizing.

 

[Yaj Yak]

That’s what I had.

painless?

 

[Bob Kazamakis]

Uncomfortable for sure but didn’t hurt per se. They were sore for like a week but only if touched

 

[DanJ]

i needa get that did.

was looking at no scalpel style

Vasectomy Clinic | Naperville | Vasectomy Clinics of Chicago

Vasectomy Clinics of Chicago proudly serves areas like Naperville, Tinley Park, & others. Find our nearest vasectomy clinic - 312-528-9068

www.vasectomyclinics.com

See if they’ll do a Groupon.

 

[Bob Kazamakis]

Nothing weirder than calling to make an appointment to drop off a sample and an old lady asking when I’ll be by and then same lady taking my cup when I drop it off

Then I had to write on the cup the approximate time I jizzed in it

 

[smug]

When I did the jizz in cup deal for ivf testing it got weird. I had a brown paper bag with a cup inside and I was walking down stairs to the basement to do the deed. At this time another dude passed me coming up the stairs with his bag and cup of jizz.

 

[Chester Copperpot]

When Megan was getting ready for her fertility testing, they made me squeeze one off to verify I wasn’t the issue.

Awkward as fuck listening to nurses talking and laughing on the other side of that metal door in the bathroom. Oh yeah, I had to fucking squeeze it out AT the hospital on a shitter.

Arguably my most pathetic and worst performance I’ll ever admit to. Megan said her and her doctor definitely talked shit about my… quantity. I definitely wasn’t the issue though, whole lotta swimmers.

 

[Bob Kazamakis]

When I was dropping off there was some old dude who came up to the desk and was all “I’m here to give a sample” and I thought for fucking what man? You’ve gotta be 70


Also the nurse washing my balls and dick without saying that’s what she was about to do was so weird.

 

[smug]

Lenna was in a really good routine of going to bed and being easy to put to sleep. These past few nights have been tough. She cries for 2 hours while we do everything to get her to fall asleep. But, once she is asleep for the night she is good.

 

[DanJ]

Little guy turned 6 months yesterday and we started doing sleep training. Went surprisingly well. Would wake up and cry 5 minutes, roll over and then fall back asleep. If I have 2 kids who sleep through the night that’ll be great.

 

[OffshoreDrilling]

I’m pretty set on the fact that I won’t get to sleep for 2 years.

Daughter started rolling on her stomach at night for the first time last night. IMMEDIATELY pissed that she couldn’t easily flip back over. So, go flip her over and then she’s pissed because she knows you’re there.

She rolled over again in her sleep at some point, doing that random appendage flailing routine kids do, but stayed asleep on her stomach. When she woke up at 6ish this morning, not happy again.

Figuring we have a week or two of battling this until she can reliably flip herself over at will.

 

[Yaj Yak]

I’m pretty set on the fact that I won’t get to sleep for 2 years.

Daughter started rolling on her stomach at night for the first time last night. IMMEDIATELY pissed that she couldn’t easily flip back over. So, go flip her over and then she’s pissed because she knows you’re there.

She rolled over again in her sleep at some point, doing that random appendage flailing routine kids do, but stayed asleep on her stomach. When she woke up at 6ish this morning, not happy again.

Figuring we have a week or two of battling this until she can reliably flip herself over at will.

you guys gonna start "SeLLEeepP TrAINinG" at some point?

 

[OffshoreDrilling]

I mean I guess we are now.

Bed at the same time, bedtime routine is consistent, we let her cry it out unless she’s in distress.

 

[Chester Copperpot]

No idea wtf sleep training is. I have a feeling I'm going to find out REAL FUCKIN QUICK when Ruby is born.

Ruby is POPPIN. Megan keeps complaining if she goes any lower, she will be birthed. And we still have like 3-4 weeks until we go into the hospital. Doc said c-section, sorry.

But as a man, we all know...

 

[Yaj Yak]

youngest is 9 mos and has been miraculously sleeping the night for months now. booted him from our bedroom a few months ago.

 

[smug]

Ours was never in our bedroom. Straight to the crib. She has some sleep regression last week and this week ??‍

 

[OffshoreDrilling]

I wish we had started the crib sooner. We waited until I think 4 months.

 

[Chester Copperpot]

I don't think Owen ever slept with us in our bed. He was always passing out on us in the rocker or on the couch but he always went into the crib in his room afterwards, regardless.

His cousin slept in the same room as mom and dad since she was an infant and she clearly has sleeping issues now that she's over 3. She was also coddled and fawned over anytime she hurt herself so now any slight inconvenience she has, she immediately starts bawling.

Meanwhile, Owen bounces his face off the ground after tripping running around with his toy, jumps back up, and goes "IM OKAY."

 

[Jeffs FRC]

I’ve got a 4 year old, 2 year old, and a 70lb pit bull in my bed. At this point the kids will be sleeping in our bed till their teenagers.

I also had to squeeze one out in cup years ago for testing purposes but didn’t think I could do it in a hospital room setting. So I had the wife “assist” me in the parking lot…lol