The new/new-ish dad thread

[Bob Kazamakis]

If you guys aren’t snagging these activity packets at target, you’re missing out. They’re $1 and keep my 4 year old busy in the car for long rides, restaurants, etc.

They’re always in the chintzy shit isles right by the front door. There’s a coloring book, crayons, and stickers

 

[SleeperLS]

Alright, real talk here. Has anyone else’s relationship with their wife become heavily stressed and rough since having a kid? My wife is almost a different person now and is not nice to be around and seems to always be in a bad mood. Become really selfish and disrespectful since our daughter was born.

What has worked for your relationship when this is a problem and has it got better over the years? Any tips would be appreciated.

 

[Blownbyyou]

Alright, real talk here. Has anyone else’s relationship with their wife become heavily stressed and rough since having a kid? My wife is almost a different person now and is not nice to be around and seems to always be in a bad mood. Become really selfish and disrespectful since our daughter was born.

What has worked for your relationship when this is a problem and has it got better over the years? Any tips would be appreciated.

How old is the kid? How many have you had?

I have three now (youngest is two), after my first kid (now 8) our relationship was very subpar, lots of emotionally challenging nights. That lasted for a year and a half, then we got better, then we had second kid, then the subpar came back, for about a year (kid was a shitty sleeper).. then my third came and it only was minorly affected..

Now that our youngest is 2 our relationship is great, yeah the kids stretch us extremely thin, but we have been amazing..


I’ll say kids definitely hurt the relationship, but they make it stronger in the end

 

[SleeperLS]

How old is the kid? How many have you had?

I have three now (youngest is two), after my first kid (now 8) our relationship was very subpar, lots of emotionally challenging nights. That lasted for a year and a half, then we got better, then we had second kid, then the subpar came back, for about a year (kid was a shitty sleeper).. then my third came and it only was minorly affected..

Now that our youngest is 2 our relationship is great, yeah the kids stretch us extremely thin, but we have been amazing..


I’ll say kids definitely hurt the relationship, but they make it stronger in the end

Almost 4 months old now. Still pretty fresh. Our first as well.

 

[smug]

Sounds like some PPD kicking in. Out first is almost 2 months old already and knock on wood my wife has been decent so far. Yeah, she has times of stress, tired, or just bitchy at times but that’s part of having a new baby. I dont have much help but maybe she need someone to talk to or see the dr.

 

[Blownbyyou]

Almost 4 months old now. Still pretty fresh. Our first as well.

Yeah it’s her hormones man, just give it another 6 months. Her emotional state should get better by then…birth is a mother fucker on women

 

[DanJ]

Alright, real talk here. Has anyone else’s relationship with their wife become heavily stressed and rough since having a kid? My wife is almost a different person now and is not nice to be around and seems to always be in a bad mood. Become really selfish and disrespectful since our daughter was born.

What has worked for your relationship when this is a problem and has it got better over the years? Any tips would be appreciated.

I’ve gotten lucky on this front. Relationship really hasn’t changed, we’re both just constantly stressed and stretched thin with two kids under two. We still try to take time for each other and let each other know how much we appreciate each other as much as we can. Parents coming over tonight to watch the kids so we can go out for dinner and it feels much needed at this point. Her changing as a person sounds like a post pardom issue honestly. My wife is a social worker, and mental health is the one area we really don’t talk about much honestly which is odd, but she requested a low dose of a breast feeding safe SSRI after this second kid and has been in pretty good spirits considering the chaos that is our life.

 

[smug]

Same. Had parents come watch the baby for a few hours while we went to dinner and just drove around looking at fancy houses. Like we used to before the baby came.

 

[Bru]

Alright, real talk here. Has anyone else’s relationship with their wife become heavily stressed and rough since having a kid? My wife is almost a different person now and is not nice to be around and seems to always be in a bad mood. Become really selfish and disrespectful since our daughter was born.

What has worked for your relationship when this is a problem and has it got better over the years? Any tips would be appreciated.

The most strain for us came during the struggles of breast feeding when a lot of pressure and work was on her, but once we ditched that (it wasn’t working) and went formula, the load was more evenly spread and I could help more, which helped immensely.

 

[OffshoreDrilling]

Alright, real talk here. Has anyone else’s relationship with their wife become heavily stressed and rough since having a kid? My wife is almost a different person now and is not nice to be around and seems to always be in a bad mood. Become really selfish and disrespectful since our daughter was born.

What has worked for your relationship when this is a problem and has it got better over the years? Any tips would be appreciated.

We’re going through the same thing. We are both short with each other way too often. A lot of it is the overnight change of going from no kids and your time is yours to having a kid that needs one of you 24/7. There’s no time to get anything done but the essentials, social life dries up, crap sleep, stressed, barely any quality time together.

We have a 5 month old, and I basically told myself life is going to suck better than 50% of the time for the first 6mos to a year.

 

[OffshoreDrilling]

And we’re pregnant again.

Due date is 3 weeks shy of being Irish twins.

 

[Chester Copperpot]

Get off her man god damn.

Lol grats.

 

[smug]

And we’re pregnant again.

Due date is 3 weeks shy of being Irish twins.

Congratulations! That’s gonna be a hell of a ride with the kids that’s close in age.

 

[smug]

My wife has been sick with a cold this past week and now the baby is starting to be very crabby. She woke 5 times last night and that’s not like her. She might now be feeling good

 

[OffshoreDrilling]

Congratulations! That’s gonna be a hell of a ride with the kids that’s close in age.

It’s what we wanted. Two close in age so they’re kind of in the same phase of life. We aren’t married yet either and neither of us want to have a wedding while she’s pregnant. So, get the second one done, have some time for us, then maybe more.

 

[smug]

It’s what we wanted. Two close in age so they’re kind of in the same phase of life. We aren’t married yet either and neither of us want to have a wedding while she’s pregnant. So, get the second one done, have some time for us, then maybe more.

That’s cool man. I wasn’t trying to come off a certain way with what I said. I’ll be 37 very soon and my wife doesn’t want another one right away and I’m not sure if I do too. But, on the flip side I don’t want to be 40 something trying for another kid.

 

[OffshoreDrilling]

That’s cool man. I wasn’t trying to come off a certain way with what I said. I’ll be 37 very soon and my wife doesn’t want another one right away and I’m not sure if I do too. But, on the flip side I don’t want to be 40 something trying for another kid.

I didn’t take it that way, all good. About to be 36 myself, I definitely know the feeling. It already feels old to be starting on a family when a bunch of friends my age have kids as old as 12

 

[DanJ]

We’re going through the same thing. We are both short with each other way too often. A lot of it is the overnight change of going from no kids and your time is yours to having a kid that needs one of you 24/7. There’s no time to get anything done but the essentials, social life dries up, crap sleep, stressed, barely any quality time together.

We have a 5 month old, and I basically told myself life is going to suck better than 50% of the time for the first 6mos to a year.

Once you get that kid sleeping on their own you’ll feel like you can take on the world. When our first was doing two 2 hour naps a day and sleeping almost 12 hours a night we felt like we got our life back a bit…

And we’re pregnant again.

Due date is 3 weeks shy of being Irish twins.

Aaaaand then we had a second one which is a shit load harder than just having one. But are finally getting into a groove with the second one being 5 months now. Once he sleeps on his own over night we’ll be pretty good. Ours are 16 months apart and I had a few months where I seriously considered going out to the garage to sit in my car and yell . We also had 5 o’clock happy hour at least 6 days a week on our 3 months of leave together just to keep our sanity. Congrats though, I think in the long run having them close together to get through the baby phase in one go is probably the best bet. I look forward to being able to take down the Alcatraz of baby gates on our first floor some day.

 

[blakbearddelite]

Alright, real talk here. Has anyone else’s relationship with their wife become heavily stressed and rough since having a kid? My wife is almost a different person now and is not nice to be around and seems to always be in a bad mood. Become really selfish and disrespectful since our daughter was born.

What has worked for your relationship when this is a problem and has it got better over the years? Any tips would be appreciated.

We definitely hit a rough patch on the 2nd one, it lasted like two months. I'll say it was majority my fault for not pitching in and just maybe a little over-reaction and lack of communication from my wife. If I had known that she was unhappy, I would have asked what I could more of to pitch in. I figured it was hormonal or something, but it was mostly my fault.

I'd tell any new fathers to have that talk with your wife, "Am I helping out enough?". Some people (like me) don't take hints very well and you have to tell me straight up.

 

[Bob Kazamakis]

Once you get that kid sleeping on their own you’ll feel like you can take on the world. When our first was doing two 2 hour naps a day and sleeping almost 12 hours a night we felt like we got our life back a bit…



Aaaaand then we had a second one which is a shit load harder than just having one. But are finally getting into a groove with the second one being 5 months now. Once he sleeps on his own over night we’ll be pretty good. Ours are 16 months apart and I had a few months where I seriously considered going out to the garage to sit in my car and yell . We also had 5 o’clock happy hour at least 6 days a week on our 3 months of leave together just to keep our sanity. Congrats though, I think in the long run having them close together to get through the baby phase in one go is probably the best bet. I look forward to being able to take down the Alcatraz of baby gates on our first floor some day.

I wish our second would sleep more often thru the night. Kid is a wild card compared to our first.

 

[blakbearddelite]

Once you get that kid sleeping on their own you’ll feel like you can take on the world. When our first was doing two 2 hour naps a day and sleeping almost 12 hours a night we felt like we got our life back a bit…



Aaaaand then we had a second one which is a shit load harder than just having one. But are finally getting into a groove with the second one being 5 months now. Once he sleeps on his own over night we’ll be pretty good. Ours are 16 months apart and I had a few months where I seriously considered going out to the garage to sit in my car and yell . We also had 5 o’clock happy hour at least 6 days a week on our 3 months of leave together just to keep our sanity. Congrats though, I think in the long run having them close together to get through the baby phase in one go is probably the best bet. I look forward to being able to take down the Alcatraz of baby gates on our first floor some day.

I feel like it would have been easier in the long run for us to have had our kids closer, they're 7 years apart. Granted it's tough having two kids in diapers at the same time, getting back into having a kid needing diapers after four years kind of sucks too. We didn't even bother replacing our ratty old diaper bag. In retrospect, getting both out of the way younger would have been better. Plus I was 34 when we had the first and 42 when we had the 2nd. I felt the 2nd one took more out of me.

 

[Jeffs FRC]

Almost 4 months old now. Still pretty fresh. Our first as well.

Should get better as the kids get older. The first year is always pretty brutal with the stress of a little bloodsucker that needs 24/7 attention. There have been times I have definitely thought about divorce and wondered when the hell things will get better. Things do get better!

That’s cool man. I wasn’t trying to come off a certain way with what I said. I’ll be 37 very soon and my wife doesn’t want another one right away and I’m not sure if I do too. But, on the flip side I don’t want to be 40 something trying for another kid.

My thoughts exactly. My wife is a bit younger than me and she originally wanted 3. I told her going in that by 40 I was done, and we had our girl a month before I turned 40. I’ll be 42 in a couple weeks, and just last night on our ride home from dinner, she was asking me about getting snipped so she doesn’t have to worry about birth control anymore…lol

I didn’t take it that way, all good. About to be 36 myself, I definitely know the feeling. It already feels old to be starting on a family when a bunch of friends my age have kids as old as 12

Yea, in one hand I’m jealous of my friends that had kids young and now have freedom in their 40’s, but at the same time I’m glad I waited because I feel like I’m a much better dad now than I ever could have been in my 20’s.

 

[smug]

Finally got this wall decal up in the nursery. It takes up the whole wall!

 

[Yaj Yak]

And we’re pregnant again.

Due date is 3 weeks shy of being Irish twins.

missed this mayhem

yall know what causes this right broski?!

 

[Yaj Yak]

I wish our second would sleep more often thru the night. Kid is a wild card compared to our first.

we're opposite. first was colicky and not a good sleeper.

second fucking loves sleeping. we're so fortunate for that