💬 OT 🧑‍🍼 The new/new-ish dad thread

[Bru]

I was told you got peed on far less with a baby girl vs boy....this does not sound accurate then according to your experience. I’ve got roughly 2 months till the pee/poo flies

Congrats, Joel!

Always go Pampers diapers. Out of convenience, we once bought Whole Foods organic diapers and all the pee came out the side of the diaper. From them on, Pampers swaddles all the time.

The pee isn’t projected like a boy, but there’s always a lot, and they’re deceptive creatures. Even after changing a huge pee, there’s seemingly always a little more that they’ll get you with even lifting a cheek to slide a diaper in.

 

[SMRTSS1]

Sleep? What’s that? I’m lucky to get to bed before midnight since I am the unofficial sleep buddy, makes waking up at 5am lots of fun. My 13 month old son wouldn’t fall asleep unless he was on the left side my chest until about 2 weeks ago when he started fussing because he wants to be in his crib to fall asleep. When he’s scared, hurt or doesn’t feel good he wants Dad. When he wakes up at 3am and can’t get back to sleep he wants Dad. I love that he needs me to feel safe but DAMN!!! My job is dangerous enough, add in sleep deprivation and malnutrition and it can quickly become fatal plus falling asleep on a pole or in a bucket is exceptionally uncomfortable.
He started crawling at 9 months and one week......at 10 months and 3 days he started walking.....three days later and he’s running without knowing how to stop. I was amazed at how much of my house I want to tape pillows to or take a router to so I can get rid of sharp edges. For the first 2 weeks of him walking he wanted to hold our hands, now he’s like “fuck you, I can do it!” and pushes our hands away and then promptly trips over a toy. If I put a dollar aside for every time I caught him at the last second and saved him from permanent brain damage, scarring or death I’d be able to buy a new house by thanksgiving.
He’s currently of the mind that Daddy is an elevator that will pick him up and put him down 3,000 times an hour and that biting mom and dad is a cool thing to do. I went from wearing comfy basketball pants or shorts to wearing my ripstop cut resistant work pants around the house. “Good luck getting those sharp little baby teeth thru those ya little shit!”
Stress level times 3 million when you have to clip his razor sharp fingernails that he uses to tear open my cuticles, fingers, hands, cheeks, ears etc etc etc. Cleaning the excessive wax out of his ears with a Qtip is a lesson in hand stability and reaction time so I don’t puncture his ear canal.
The Nosefrida while disgusting to think about IS AMAZING!!!!

Being a dad is the hardest most stressful mind numbing thing I’ve ever encountered in my life and I live in constant fear of sucking at it. Regardless of all the stress and everything that comes with it I wouldn’t change any of it and I LOVE BEING A DAD!!! It’s the best job I’ve ever had.

 

[TommyGloves]

My wife and I were lucky. Our daughter's sleep cycle was pretty good in the first year. IIRC it was 3-4 hours. We'd feed her a bottle, give her a diaper change and she was out again for another 3-4 hours at night. Once she moved to solid food, it seemed she would sleep a longer at night.

It got a little easier for me once her skull/soft spot closed, she could hold up her own head, hold her own bottle, etc. It was tough for me that first year as well.

Fast forward 23 years and I still worry about her at school and living on her own.

Take it easy on yourself...you guys will be fine parents.

 

[Bru]

These are the nail clippers that saved us so much time and frustration, and us from taking chunks from our kid’s fingers.

https://m.bedbathandbeyond.com/m/pr...pGLnb5_MHAR21tQhpHsaAh6cEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

 

[importcrew]

I have an 8-month old who occupies a seemingly disproportionate about of mental space given her diminutive physical size. I wanted a place on TCG to share thoughts/observations/tips mostly as a way to cope with the 90-percent of my day thinking about how to not suck as a parent.

To kick off, I’m so freakin tired all the time. I entered my home garage code into work’s bathroom keypad and was legit surprised when it didn’t open. Gravity feels twice as hard. She goes 3-4 days sleeping through the night, then 2-3 days up multiple times. She cries it out and falls asleep on her own, but then I’m wide eyed at 1 am.

Rockababy playlist on Spotify is a life-saver. An instrumental, lullaby version of Bowie's “The Man Who Sold The World” is much better to have stuck in my head all day than “Itsy bitsy Spider”.

I never thought I’d feel so comfortable being covered in someone else’s poo, pee, snot, spit up. Its not even a flinch anymore when she spazzes out on the changing table and smears poo all over me and the changing table.

One child can be different from the other. I have two daughters. Soon to be 4 (in Dec) and one about to turn 1. They're complete opposite and I mean completely!

Our infant wakes up an average of 4-5 times throughout the night. When our oldest was about 1, she was sleeping great and would wake up maybe once. When my oldest daughter was an infant, I'd play the music off the baby monitor and she'd knock out as if somebody gave her chloroform. My youngest... Not that easy. My wife is usually the one that deals with her at night since I get up early for work although I try my best to help her, but come winter when I'm laid off, I take over.

 

[importcrew]

Congrats, Joel!

Always go Pampers diapers. Out of convenience, we once bought Whole Foods organic diapers and all the pee came out the side of the diaper. From them on, Pampers swaddles all the time.

The pee isn’t projected like a boy, but there’s always a lot, and they’re deceptive creatures. Even after changing a huge pee, there’s seemingly always a little more that they’ll get you with even lifting a cheek to slide a diaper in.

We're with Huggies. I believe it's the Little Movers line of diapers. The snug & dry and any other brand would have leaking issues. We tried plenty of brands and seems the little movers are the only ones that work for us.

 

[CMNTMXR57]

I was told you got peed on far less with a baby girl vs boy....this does not sound accurate then according to your experience. I’ve got roughly 2 months till the pee/poo flies

This is true, but the reason that it is this way is once you undo the diaper, the cold air hits his wee-wee, he goes wee-wee... So the trick is, undo the diaper for a split second, let the air get it, and then recover his winky so that the diaper absorbs the ensuring blast.

Since the little girls don't have that same issue due to plumbing differences is why it doesn't happen with them.

 

[Bub]

Congrats, Joel!

Always go Pampers diapers. Out of convenience, we once bought Whole Foods organic diapers and all the pee came out the side of the diaper. From them on, Pampers swaddles all the time.

The pee isn’t projected like a boy, but there’s always a lot, and they’re deceptive creatures. Even after changing a huge pee, there’s seemingly always a little more that they’ll get you with even lifting a cheek to slide a diaper in.

Daughter peed on me a lot. Boy not so much. And Target Up and Up>all. Also any diaper marked organic is a joke lol

 

[Frank Dukes]

Have an 8 month old daughter myself. Goes to bed at 7pm and sleeps thru the night till 530am. I have no clue how we got so lucky. Other than starting that schedule early. In her crib and in that schedule starting at 10 weeks. Took a little time but they figure it out.

 

[Mr_Roboto]

You're not supposed to do it, we ended up co-sleeping. It's got its own pain in the ass aspects to it though.

That said, I always roll my eyes at people that are like "it'll get better" at 2. They go from the terrible twos to the threatening threes to the fucking fours. I swear to god the same fucking people will be all "oh he's 3 now that's even worse than 2."

Wife tried the "it's easier with 2" shit on me with a fucking dog. I have gone from tolerating dogs to not standing them by and large. Somewhere in her brain she still thinks we're getting another after this one's gone. I love my kid but am out of the breeding pool.

 

[Fish]

Is it bad that I miss the 0-8 phase of my daughters life?

It gets easier as far as sleeping and self sufficiency, but the issues change and some of the challenges get harder IMO.

 

[CMNTMXR57]

Right. As they get older, their hobbies become more expensive. They want to play softball, basketball, volleyball, football, hockey, cross-country, archery, etc, etc...

 

[blakbearddelite]

2yrs and 8 months here. The 2yr old is a riot the shit that comes out of his mouth. The sleeping, weight gain, diapers all suck. But I wouldn't wanna give them up for anything. For any non parent looking for a good time. Google up the "NoseFrida" lol

I had never heard of that. While I think it would be amazing to help clean it out, the potential for sucking up goobers makes me want to hurl.

 

[Bru]

Never sucked up a boog. The filter is very fine. Now, if you forget the filter, then you’re in for a bad time.

 

[blakbearddelite]

On an unrelated note, does anyone have an adapter for a small half-inch fitting that would connect to a shop vac?

 

[boostedguy05]

This is true, but the reason that it is this way is once you undo the diaper, the cold air hits his wee-wee, he goes wee-wee... So the trick is, undo the diaper for a split second, let the air get it, and then recover his winky so that the diaper absorbs the ensuring blast.

Since the little girls don't have that same issue due to plumbing differences is why it doesn't happen with them.

i did the same with our girls. if we opened and started to change right away, we would get peed on. open close open change, ALL GOOD!

Daughter peed on me a lot. Boy not so much. And Target Up and Up>all. Also any diaper marked organic is a joke lol

Congrats, Joel!

Always go Pampers diapers. Out of convenience, we once bought Whole Foods organic diapers and all the pee came out the side of the diaper. From them on, Pampers swaddles all the time.

The pee isn’t projected like a boy, but there’s always a lot, and they’re deceptive creatures. Even after changing a huge pee, there’s seemingly always a little more that they’ll get you with even lifting a cheek to slide a diaper in.

we went to Amazon diapers. but only once they were a little older.

the twins (3yo) are 98% potty trained, fully out of diapers all day long and all night, but "need help" in the bathroom. im about ready to plumb up a tiny toilet cuz my wife insisted on getting the tall toilet when we replaced the old one we had. its hard for them to climb up on it even with the step stool.

 

[importcrew]

My first daughter was smooth sailing from pregnancy to birth, to infancy. 2nd daughter was complete opposite in every way. My wife and I aren't thinking of any more after our 2nd but time will tell. Although both kids can be a pain in the ass, I couldn't imagine life without them.

 

[boostedguy05]

and at 4:00 wife texted me. "when you get home, i'm taking a shower and going to bed."



chick, i've been busy all day long too!

that's okay, i will play spiderman on ps4 with them. or we can watch car shows.

 

[SMRTSS1]

My wife gives me the “I just have to go rinse off real quick. Can you start dinner?” every once in a while when she gets home. I’m sitting there thinking “Bitch I’ve been sitting in a combination of dried sweat, sawdust, dirt, bug spray, sunblock and God knows what else and you need a fucking shower?!?!” A billy goat smells better than me at the end of the day and I have to wait until 8pm to shit, shower and shave and I’m lucky to get 15 minutes to do all that before I have to hustle the dog outside then get back in to put my son to sleep.

I’ve mastered the ninja dump where I can put my son down without him waking up and the “gladiator shit” where he is in the bathroom with me and I say “On my signal, unleash hell” then I see how hard a punch the toilet can take in the shortest amount of time. I also now have the ability to forget that I have to go to the bathroom, or at least my body just goes into hibernation mode.

 

[CMNTMXR57]

I got yelled at last night that she is tired of being our slave and waiting on us hand and foot.

I was like WTF!!!

 

[wombat]

Our daughter is 11 weeks old and for the past week she's been sleeping at LEAST 6 hours, if not more in one sitting...it's weird, and I'm waiting for all hell to break loose and it to stop..

I try to stay away from reading too much bullshit online because of what you said [MENTION=12]Bru[/MENTION] where one says one thing and the next just completely shits on the first, and to [MENTION=60]greasy[/MENTION]'s point, you're gonna do what you need to do in order to parent.

 

[boostedguy05]

Learn by trial and error and adapt to your needs. It's the only way to survive.

 

[Bub]

Don't ever Google anything.

 

[importcrew]

Our daughter is 11 weeks old and for the past week she's been sleeping at LEAST 6 hours, if not more in one sitting...it's weird, and I'm waiting for all hell to break loose and it to stop..

I try to stay away from reading too much bullshit online because of what you said [MENTION=12]Bru[/MENTION] where one says one thing and the next just completely shits on the first, and to [MENTION=60]greasy[/MENTION]'s point, you're gonna do what you need to do in order to parent.

It comes natural. Sometimes it gets rough, and sometimes it doesn't.

 

[boostedguy05]

Don't ever Google anything.

Basically, 1st response to everything is, your child needs to go to the ER right now!

But it's just a splinter....