Stuff your wife/gf does that drives you nuts


SpeedSpeak2me

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Aiiight pizza peoples... Pizza talk 101 right here:
 

Sprayin

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Aiiight pizza peoples... Pizza talk 101 right here:
Shark Tank No GIF
 

Pro Stock John

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Back to the spouses.....

Wife went food shopping, awesome and thank you!

Got most of what I asked for for but she's like Instacart (never used that service) she interprets what I asked for and comes up with her version.

But she's great and 99% we are happy.
 

justbob

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I swear she broadcasts something demonic when she snores that could easily be picked by the international space station.

On the “quieter” nights it’s the whistling snot in her intake valves.

She says I’m a heavy snorer too, yeah, no, I’ve never once heard myself snore..

After 34 years together I did finally get my own bedroom this year after my neck fusion. Something we should have done years ago as we now both sleep sound now.
 

SpeedSpeak2me

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I swear she broadcasts something demonic when she snores that could easily be picked by the international space station.

On the “quieter” nights it’s the whistling snot in her intake valves.

She says I’m a heavy snorer too, yeah, no, I’ve never once heard myself snore..

After 34 years together I did finally get my own bedroom this year after my neck fusion. Something we should have done years ago as we now both sleep sound now.
I have skylight blinds, cause some dipshit builder decided that skylights in the master bedroom was a good idea.

The g/f rattles the blinds when she snores. I'm positive her snoring is the reason the snow/ice slides off of the roof.
 

SMRTSS1

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I swear she broadcasts something demonic when she snores that could easily be picked by the international space station.

On the “quieter” nights it’s the whistling snot in her intake valves.

She says I’m a heavy snorer too, yeah, no, I’ve never once heard myself snore..

After 34 years together I did finally get my own bedroom this year after my neck fusion. Something we should have done years ago as we now both sleep sound now.

My wife and I have been sleeping in separate beds/bedrooms since we were dating and it’s fantastic. I’m a loud snorer and she’s a ridiculously light sleeper, like I got yelled at for blinking too loud…..BLINKING. People think it’s weird and “that can’t be good for a marriage”. Really? We get a good night sleep regardless of snoring, tossing, being too hot or too cold etc. Then a few people will ask about if it affects our sex life. Nope, where we do it is dependent on who has to wash their sheets next or which horny spouse invaded the others bedroom.
 

justbob

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My wife and I have been sleeping in separate beds/bedrooms since we were dating and it’s fantastic. I’m a loud snorer and she’s a ridiculously light sleeper, like I got yelled at for blinking too loud…..BLINKING. People think it’s weird and “that can’t be good for a marriage”. Really? We get a good night sleep regardless of snoring, tossing, being too hot or too cold etc. Then a few people will ask about if it affects our sex life. Nope, where we do it is dependent on who has to wash their sheets next or which horny spouse invaded the others bedroom.

EXACTLY! Oh I forgot to mention her love of ceiling fans and the great outdoors. Yes in the winter too..! I’m like a buck fifty and tall with zero insulation and come morning it’s hard to tell if rigor mortis has developed..

Sex? Wherever we want depending on if the kid is home. I mean we own a home not a bedroom.
 

Shawn1112

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Sex? Wherever we want depending on if the kid is home. I mean we own a home not a bedroom.
This 100%, although we dont have kids anymore. Daughter moved out and our son is rarely home.
No room is off limits lol
 

rocco

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Similar to this, my friend's now ex-wife was "off the boat" from Poland, whom he pursued.

We were downstairs on the driveway working on his car. She comes out on the deck (right above the driveway) and asks what he would like for dinner, and he said a frozen pizza would be fine.

So she preheats the oven and sticks the pizza in. About five minutes later we smell burning plastic. He though he left the soldering iron on and it was burning something. Nope.

He gets that look of "oh shit" and runs upstairs. She had put the pizza in the oven alright, fully wrapped in plastic. To her credit, she did have it on the stone baking plate.
Is this a Polish joke or true story. Brutal if true.
 

Lead Pipe

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My ex wife cheated on me, so that was kinda annoying.
That’s opening pandora’s box. I don’t think the site has enough bandwidth for me to start posting about things my ex-wife did that drove me nuts.
 

SpeedSpeak2me

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Is this a Polish joke or true story. Brutal if true.
True story. Was there when it happened.

To add to it, those kinds of “dinners” weren’t where she grew up, so she had not tried to make one before.

Other than the edges having some melted plastic, the part under the paper cover was fine.
 

Chester Copperpot

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Oven has never been clean. I buy some deep clean oven cleaner that has to sit to break down all the stains and garbage that is stuck. I spray it at lunch on Thursday and tell her it needs to be wiped down. I get home, “oh I forgot.”

Fast forward to last night. She’s making cupcakes. “Do these taste weird to you?” Didn’t even click at first until I went to make bacon this morning, there’s white residue all over the oven.

Did you ever wipe this down? “Yes I did.” No, you didn’t. There’s cleaning solution all over the walls. “I don’t know what to tell you, I wiped it down!” No. You didn’t.

I’ll admit I forgot to wipe it down myself after the fact as well but shit just gets away from you. As N20GT N20GT said the other week when she ran into the fucking side of the garage trim. I don’t care as much that you did it, you piss me off further when you lie to my face and tell me you didn’t when I can see PHYSICAL PROOF of the opposite of what you’re fucking telling me.
 

Jon01

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Ok, I've got something to bitch about.
My wife will sleep in till fucking 10am on a weekend day, then fuck around till noon getting ready to go.
I'm up between 0600-0700 so we can get shit done, but almost always end up waiting on her to get her shit together.
I don't crab at her too much, she's up at 0530 daily to help get my ass out the door. Just enough bitching to keep her on her toes.
 

Nccstud

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My wife is a saint. I dunno how she puts up with my shit sometimes lol. We have had maybe 4 fights in the 12 years we have been together. It's about as good as it can be and I give her most of that credit.

On that note, she doesn't shut off lights or close doors ever. Cabinet doors, fridge doors, big inside door to the backyard when it's fucking -20° outside? Open.
 

DanJ

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My wife is light addict, our house is lit up like a lighthouse most of the time.
Ah yes. That’s our house too. My big gripe is that we have dimmers in almost every room, and they’re all set to full blast. I converted the kitchen can lights to LED because they use less electric and they’re brighter. I run them at about half strength, my wife likes them on face melting bright.
 

The Beast

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My wife is a saint. I dunno how she puts up with my shit sometimes lol. We have had maybe 4 fights in the 12 years we have been together. It's about as good as it can be and I give her most of that credit.

On that note, she doesn't shut off lights or close doors ever. Cabinet doors, fridge doors, big inside door to the backyard when it's fucking -20° outside? Open.

You know how u fix that issue if the wife works have her pay the gas and electric bill.
 

Pro Stock John

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Dan I have read articles about too much light affecting sleep, so I start turning lights off around 11 or 30 minutes before she and the boys go to sleep, one by one by one.

14 year old and I went through all his clothes, I had him try on everything, half the stuff was too small, so they got bagged up but I saved the stuff he had memories of as well as some Cubs 2016 shirts he has. Cleaned up the shelves, all the kiddy toys, went into a tote in the basement. BTW Dan I don't recall how old your bebby is but we might have some stuff he or she might like in the future.
 

Nccstud

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Omg, I forgot th most important one. Her driving. Like what in the actual fuck. She has a +/- 6mph speed limit which is super frustrating driving 6mph UNDER the speed limit. If I'm passenger with her she then gets mad at me for trying to coax her into at least doing the speed limit. If she is telling a story all bets are off. She might just stop ok the middle of the road, who knows!
 

Aircal

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The other day she asked me why do I feel the need to always correct her? Thankfully my feet where smart enough to get me out of there before my mouth said....Because your always wrong.
 
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