Spinoff willizm thread..later life thread/not mid life

stock-t-bird

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Spinoff on willizm thread.approaching job burnout,no kids,family members almost all gone...did the hot rod/car scene..traveled everywhere,friends disappeared/died.did the g/f scene for many years....none worked out..never married...havent tried the online dating scene

What should we want I/expect in our future?....most will say your children's future

yep..older than most all of you....dont bash,just looking for some advice,dont want to become a lawn queer either...just need a hobby besides drinking beer

also have major Lawsuit going on with my dad's Nursing Home...I HIGHLY recommend it...every Nursing Home sucks ass & you should sue them,be patient and do it for any family member thats in a NH.


In conclusion.looking for older advice...I have helped a lot of people on this site..all good


I wish you/me the best.just going through some hard times
 

zenriddles

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I make a list. Not a "Bucket List", but a good for me 'Do List'. When you have some targets to aim for it gives you something to think about in the down times when you are sitting there not doing anything and not feeling like doing anything.
You can still plan an adventure, but you have to have an adventure to plan for first.

Make up a new hobby. Next on my short list is kayaking. Definitely a sport that one can do alone and explore places never seen. Getting off the beaten path on a quiet waterway can be quite tranquil.
 

willizm

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I think it’s important to find that one thing or set of things that when you are at the end of your life you can reflect on positivity.

To me it’s my family name and raising my 3 boys to take that one and make it meaningful. I’m the last male in my extended family to carry on the name and seeing as I grew up without a father, as he was a dead beat, it means a lot to me to raise my boys to be great men and even greater fathers for their kids. If I can be on my death bed with my boys by my side and seeing they are fine men then that’s all I need to leave this earth feeling like I’ve brought something to my namesake. This is something I think about all to often and I find purpose in it. Some people try to find happiness or meaning in life. I rather find purpose that fulfills me and makes me happy.

“Before long I'll be dead, and you and your brother and your sister and all of her children, all of us dead, all of us rotting in the ground. It's the family name that lives on. It's all that lives on. Not your personal glory, not your honor... but family.” - TYWIN LANNISTER
 

DEEZUZ

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Don't see yourself getting into the car scene again?
 

Yaj Yak

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someone possibly define lawn queer for me?
 

Yaj Yak

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thank you...but not doing well....I just need something
whatchya mean by this?

i mean, you say you've traveled everywhere, and while that's awesome, im not sure it could have been really "everywhere"

do you enjoy traveling? places change, people change, might be good to go see those places and get out?
 

DEEZUZ

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someone possibly define lawn queer for me?
well. at my moms the guy across the street would take scissors to the grass around the mail box, trees, etc...


that to me was a lawn queer.
 

Yaj Yak

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sweet

im not there yet
 

BADAZZTEALCOBRA

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My brothers neighbor is a lawn nutjob. Mows pretty much 3 times a week, always out there doing something to it....



I fertilize 3x a year and mow maybe once a week. I don't think i'm near lawn queer yet either.



Making a list sounds like a good thing to do.... Don't get into guns if you want to keep any money, shit is stupid expensive, but then again most fun hobbies are.
 

N20GT

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Rich, if there's not something you truly enjoy and you're feeling in the dumps, personally if I were you I'd vent to a therapist and get some constructive feedback. There's a stigma there for some reason, and there shouldn't be. Most people aren't very good at overcoming emotional trauma on their own and it sounds like you've had plenty of it.

Just buying stuff or taking trips probably won't solve anything.
 

ZXMustang

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Find a cool chic. Don't marry her. But keep traveling and doing what you are both into. Keep separate bank accounts, but live together. Do not have a kid. Not at this point. Unless you have a passion to have one. And keep creating goals/things to look forward to. Once you give up on life, have no goals, then its over.

Hell move down here to FL, and become the next florida man headline...lol
 

Mr_Roboto

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My advice for what it's worth (perhaps not much) is figure out what you're looking for. An older man is in a weird spot in terms of meaning in life, especially if they're single. Women tend to cope better with it and statistically speaking single older men are super likely to commit suicide. Whatever you do take it seriously.

-If you need help get it. No shame in that, if you can't be honest with yourself you'll never be honest with anyone else either.
-To look forward I'd look back. What have you done that you feel is unfinished? Anything you wish you'd have done that you didn't? Do you have a passion of some kind that you've not acted on? In the last little bit I've bought a lathe and am writing a novel. The novel is to get stuff of my head that is on my mind as much as anything. I really wish I had the time to read more fiction and philosophy, but that's another story too. It' something I did when I was younger, but left by the wayside I'm wanting to come back to.
-Don't underestimate the value of community. I think I may have wanted to place this higher, but I'm not operating in any particular order. This can be a lot of things from interest groups to a church. No matter how antisocial we think we are most of us are a social animal at some level.
-If you're just on the computer all the time, take a break and go out into the real world. I know I'm messing with Mook's bank flow saying that but these things suck your brain out at some level. I try to go through periods of computing less and have mixed results with it. I certainly get more done though.
 

stock-t-bird

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Rich, if there's not something you truly enjoy and you're feeling in the dumps, personally if I were you I'd vent to a therapist and get some constructive feedback. There's a stigma there for some reason, and there shouldn't be. Most people aren't very good at overcoming emotional trauma on their own and it sounds like you've had plenty of it.

Just buying stuff or taking trips probably won't solve anything.
well said Conrad,my brother died on your bday....wish u/family the best
 

LikeABauce302

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How about finding new ways to challenge yourself? What about learning a new skill or taking some classes on a subject you've always wanted to learn more about?

When I was taking classes at my community college, there were a lot of older people and retirees taking classes and they seemed to love it.
 

stock-t-bird

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Matt,we/Doug dying to see that 'Stang on the strip again.....you have come along way with that car,congrats

thanks for thoughts...challenges seem to be struggles..i will do my best
 

LikeABauce302

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Matt,we/Doug dying to see that 'Stang on the strip again.....you have come along way with that car,congrats

thanks for thoughts...challenges seem to be struggles..i will do my best
You'll have to send me a message when you guys are going to the track. I'm finishing up some minor rear suspension updates right now, but should be getting out to the track in June!
 

DEEZUZ

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Rich, if there's not something you truly enjoy and you're feeling in the dumps, personally if I were you I'd vent to a therapist and get some constructive feedback. There's a stigma there for some reason, and there shouldn't be. Most people aren't very good at overcoming emotional trauma on their own and it sounds like you've had plenty of it.

Just buying stuff or taking trips probably won't solve anything.
Well fucking said.

There is nothing wrong with seeking some mental/emotional help. Admissions is half the battle.
 

GTPpower

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Have you considered donating time? I worked for habitat for humanity last year on a house. Very rewarding.
 

1quick

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do you enjoy boating? my dad is having a hard time being retired, he got married last year but she still works and he is on his own all day every day, he bought a boat and keeps it in racine wi, tinkers on it all winter 2-3 days a week, and lives on it friday to sunday every week, my older friend is retired he rebuilds old lincolin welders and sells them for something to do
 

sickmint79

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Have you considered donating time? I worked for habitat for humanity last year on a house. Very rewarding.
i was going to suggest this as well. with knowledge, skills, and experience accumulated, you may enjoy teaching/helping others with some of your free time.
 

Lead Pipe

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Dude, you're not married, no kids. The freedom you have in endless. I would have a smile on my face everyday if I could do what ever I wanted.

That being said, buy a side by side and find some trails in the middle of the woods. That will cheer anyone up.
 

DEEZUZ

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Have you considered donating time? I worked for habitat for humanity last year on a house. Very rewarding.
Rich I know you love animals. Lots of shelters that volunteers go to to walk dogs.
 

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