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Open relationships (rated 90% fresh by rotten mooktatoes)

ktraver97ss

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Anyone in one or have been in one?

Wife and I have been married for 12 years now and the topic has come up a few times. She has gone both ways and even had a gf for a short period before we met. All-in-all we are pretty open with our sex life. Which, has also led to infidelity in both our cases. We were talking this weekend, on our anniversary dinner ironically (haha) about how getting old sucks and wanted to get everything out of life while we can. We both agreed that the real issue we have with the infidelity is moreso the lying and betrayal than the actual act. We started to come up with guidelines of things we both agreed were and were not acceptable if we were to go this route. Now, on the other hand, we are happy with our lives and each other, and compared to our couples friends we have way more sex than average, and none of those couples have been married even half as long as us. I feel like yes, there is a risk, but also would be great to get out there into some fresh. :lol:

We started thinking about swinging basically, but there's a whole culture to that, and I'm not sure we are down with yet. Then its like, whats the chance we can find a couple that we both find attractive? Seems unlikely, and then how the hell do you go about starting that conversation with them. lol It progressed to us just doing our own things, but following a set of rules we agree on. Also, do we want to know about it when the other person has an experience? Tough to say since if we don't share then it might feel like we are hiding something, but do we really want to know? It was a interesting convo to say the least, and we left it on the table as an option in the future.

What does TCG think? Has anyone ventured down this path before?
 

EmersonHart13

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No one asked for her number yet? I am disappoint!
 

DanJoy

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I think being married and having a child makes it different, but in the past any amount of infidelity has ruined any relationship I’ve had as far as trust goes. Once the other person had strayed I took that as a free pass to go do whatever I wanted. I don’t think an open relationship is for me, but if you were honest an open about it upfront it would be different. Like you said, it’s not so much the act as it is the deceit that ruins trust.
 

ktraver97ss

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ahahaha like you trolls got a chance!!

Wwait, think I seen emerballs wife pics...PM sent :rofl:
 

boostedguy05

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i thought there was a member here that was or is in that life style. i cant remember fully so i dont want to outs that person.

and in for how this plays out!
 

SMKE EM

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With open relationships, I feel like your wife has to hit menopause for this to even be remotely acceptable.

With guys, it's kinda like.....either you need to make yourself infertile or make sure whoever you bang can't have kids.

Having a kid with a random hookup in a marriage of X years just doesn't seem like it would be healthy for any relationship.
 

Grabber

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So, how old are you guys?

I personally would be against this. I am a firm believer of faithfulness and being the only one in a relationship while married. Call me traditional if you will.

I've had a friend I no longer talk to that had an open relationship with his wife. Didn't end well as she ended up finding a guy through this "open relationship status" and was "happier" with the new guy.

Good luck.
 

Bub

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Meh. Whatever works, my buddy and his wife had a girlfriend for a while. It def got weird when she wanted more than just banging.
 

ktraver97ss

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I think being married and having a child makes it different, but in the past any amount of infidelity has ruined any relationship I’ve had as far as trust goes. Once the other person had strayed I took that as a free pass to go do whatever I wanted. I don’t think an open relationship is for me, but if you were honest an open about it upfront it would be different. Like you said, it’s not so much the act as it is the deceit that ruins trust.
See, I stepped out first, and it was a fucking mess for both of us. We almost broke up. Then she went and did the same, but came and told me afterwards cause she is just a terrible liar. lol It fucking hurt bad and made me realize I would never want to make her feel the way that I did, again. We have been better than ever since then, and I think its because we realized we could lose each other and made us work harder to keep the relationship strong.
 

DanJoy

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In all fairness, any relationship I had that infidelity ruined was kind of a dumpster fire to begin with :rofl:.
 

DEEZUZ

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I think [MENTION=4746]Flyn[/MENTION]n can help here?
 

ktraver97ss

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With open relationships, I feel like your wife has to hit menopause for this to even be remotely acceptable.

With guys, it's kinda like.....either you need to make yourself infertile or make sure whoever you bang can't have kids.

Having a kid with a random hookup in a marriage of X years just doesn't seem like it would be healthy for any relationship.
That was a roadblock we discussed. Im snipped, but still have to worry about std's so a condom would be mandatory for both, but that really sucks.

So, how old are you guys?

I personally would be against this. I am a firm believer of faithfulness and being the only one in a relationship while married. Call me traditional if you will.

I've had a friend I no longer talk to that had an open relationship with his wife. Didn't end well as she ended up finding a guy through this "open relationship status" and was "happier" with the new guy.

Good luck.
Mid 30s

Thats why we created some guidelines/rules to avoid the common pitfalls of these types of arrangements.

-No friends or people from work or anything like that
-has to be an occasional thing, like maybe once a month
-different partners as to not create an ongoing relationship with any one person
-always with condom (but im mainly in this for head anyway :rofl:)
-never in our home

There were more I can't remember.

We didn't decide to do this yet or anything, and probably won't, but it was fun to discuss. This place is kinda dead so figured this convo might liven it up this morning. lol
 

Grabber

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That was a roadblock we discussed. Im snipped, but still have to worry about std's so a condom would be mandatory for both, but that really sucks.



Mid 30s

Thats why we created some guidelines/rules to avoid the common pitfalls of these types of arrangements.

-No friends or people from work or anything like that
-has to be an occasional thing, like maybe once a month
-different partners as to not create an ongoing relationship with any one person
-always with condom (but im mainly in this for head anyway :rofl:)
-never in our home

There were more I can't remember.

We didn't decide to do this yet or anything, and probably won't, but it was fun to discuss. This place is kinda dead so figured this convo might liven it up this morning. lol
LOL!


Great post man.

I LMFAO at the head comment. HAHAHAHA.

Have you guys tried spicing things up to avoid open relationships? Maybe role play or something?
 

EmersonHart13

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PIIHB and then have her do the same to you. That'll spice it up.
 

blakbearddelite

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I don't think I could ever be in one, even if the spouse was into it. It just seems like a shit-show waiting to happen. So much could go wrong. Either partner could lose interest in the primary if the secondary is more appealing. My wife and I committed to each other, and that’s it. The only way I’ll be sleeping with someone else is if we are no longer married. I totally get that it could add spice and mix things up a bit, but the offset is that it will more than likely make the marriage head south. And it could make things terrible for anyone that has kids. I just can’t get behind it. But kudos to those that can pull it off and have everything work out great for them.
 

ktraver97ss

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LOL!


Great post man.

I LMFAO at the head comment. HAHAHAHA.

Have you guys tried spicing things up to avoid open relationships? Maybe role play or something?
HA it is the one area she sucks at...pun intended.

See thats the funny thing, we are not bored with our sex life, we get down on the regular. And not like im gunna lay on you missionary till this is over sex, more like, oh shit we put a hole in the wall again sex.

The best sex we ever had was the 3-4 months after we both cheated on each other. Honestly, it was better than the beginning of our relationship. The thought was, can we safely reproduce those feelings and energy without the betrayal?
 

Mook

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God damn. Kevin is getting laid in his marriage and is now probably gonna be able to get laid outside his marriage....and I'm over here debating if I'll have the energy to jerk off after work.
 

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