My 17 year old kid has an older girlfriend

SMRTSS1

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Jan 12, 2010
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My “talk” with my parents was when I was 16 and my mother unpacking groceries in the kitchen and her literally throwing a pack of condoms at me and saying “If you’re going to have sex use them. I’m too young to be a grandma, you’re not old enough to be a dad and I’m not raising your kids. If you get some girl pregnant I swear to God I’m cutting that thing right off you and then you’re out of this house!” Part of me thought she was joking but a larger part of me knew I’d be getting the living shit beat out of me if I knocked someone up and I’d be homeless.
I wish I had a camera ready for the look on her face when I said “I don’t use these, they’re too tight.” My dad laughed his ass off and my mom just froze for a minute then started laughing and said “I used to change your diapers, it’s not that big.”
Oddly enough years later my dad knocks on my bedroom door and asks if I had any condoms and after the initial WTF moment he told me it was for a Halloween costume where he had a nightstand costume and he was going to be “A one night stand”. Corny as fuck costume but I think the shock value of freaking me out was worth it for him.
 

CMNTMXR57

GM, Holden & Chrysler Mini-Van nut swinger
Sep 12, 2008
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Elgin
The "talk" with my Mom (mine were divorced when I was young) had three stipulations;

1) Be home by midnight (unless issues/emergencies arise and you've told me).
2) Don't end up in jail and need bailing out because I won't.
3) Don't knock up some hell hound along with pretty much the same commentary as above.

Otherwise she said, do as you fucking please, I don't want to know...
 
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Jimy Bilmo

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I know all you nerds never got poon in HS.
Says the guy that waited until he was married

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