Car Arguments You Can Start With Family on Thanksgiving

SpeedSpeak2me

TCG Elite Member
TCG Premium
Aug 27, 2018
23,408
38,816
Real Name
Jim
Something from Torch over on Jalopnik:


Thanksgiving often isn't an easy time to deal with relatives who clash with you ideologically, so why not redirect with these surefire car argument-starters!

1. Nobody should own their own car. Instead, cars should be swapped between people every week, based on your zodiac sign.

2. The best car ever designed and built in America would have been the Datsun B210, if only Lee Iacocca (you can substitute pretty much any auto executive from the past century here, like Henry Ford II or George Romney) had any vision.

3. There should be different pedal arrangements for people based on their religious beliefs.

4. If you want a car with six cylinders or more, you should have to take weekly competency tests and drug testing.

5. Glove compartments should be required to have clear doors.

6. Masturbation in your car should be legal and encouraged for speeds under 35 mph.

7. Modern cars should require cellphones to be locked in a compartment before the car can be started. Also, if you speed, a mechanism in the compartment will scratch your screen.

8. Car colors should be assigned based on income level.

9. Jews control the automotive industry and they’re planning on making all speed limits end in a 7 and it’s time we called this out for what it clearly is.

10. Talk about how Elon Musk is either wonderful or terrible. Read the room to decide which will have more impact.

11. Neither the Mustang or Camaro is as bitchin’ a car as a Hyundai Tiburon.

12. Kia’s new logo is great and highly legible.

13. The industry’s abandonment of air-cooling represents a betrayal to decent people everywhere.

14. The Dodge Cirrus represents the last genuinely sincere car ever built.

15. In automatic transmission cars, the different gears should be selected by tracing the letter of the gear you want onto a pad with your finger.
 
Old Thread: Hello . There have been no replies in this thread for 90 days.
Content in this thread may no longer be relevant. Consider starting a new thread to get fresh replies.

Thread Info