Car Arguments You Can Start With Family on Thanksgiving


SpeedSpeak2me

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Something from Torch over on Jalopnik:


Thanksgiving often isn't an easy time to deal with relatives who clash with you ideologically, so why not redirect with these surefire car argument-starters!

1. Nobody should own their own car. Instead, cars should be swapped between people every week, based on your zodiac sign.

2. The best car ever designed and built in America would have been the Datsun B210, if only Lee Iacocca (you can substitute pretty much any auto executive from the past century here, like Henry Ford II or George Romney) had any vision.

3. There should be different pedal arrangements for people based on their religious beliefs.

4. If you want a car with six cylinders or more, you should have to take weekly competency tests and drug testing.

5. Glove compartments should be required to have clear doors.

6. Masturbation in your car should be legal and encouraged for speeds under 35 mph.

7. Modern cars should require cellphones to be locked in a compartment before the car can be started. Also, if you speed, a mechanism in the compartment will scratch your screen.

8. Car colors should be assigned based on income level.

9. Jews control the automotive industry and they’re planning on making all speed limits end in a 7 and it’s time we called this out for what it clearly is.

10. Talk about how Elon Musk is either wonderful or terrible. Read the room to decide which will have more impact.

11. Neither the Mustang or Camaro is as bitchin’ a car as a Hyundai Tiburon.

12. Kia’s new logo is great and highly legible.

13. The industry’s abandonment of air-cooling represents a betrayal to decent people everywhere.

14. The Dodge Cirrus represents the last genuinely sincere car ever built.

15. In automatic transmission cars, the different gears should be selected by tracing the letter of the gear you want onto a pad with your finger.
 

Fish

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You love subscription models so much, you want to pay extra per month for heated seats and other options to work.

You also can’t wait to buy a Tesla and then pay per month for supercharging otherwise Elon will kick you in the balls and then cut your car off from the network.
 

DanJ

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That Kia logo does mind fuck me every time I get stuck behind one. I was sitting there wondering what a “KN” was.
 

DanJ

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Queue up my dad talking about flipping the lid for the air cleaner on his Grand Prix.
 

Bob Hope

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#10 is for basically any conversation anywhere.
 

Shawn1112

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Some old person will undoubtedly argue that the 60's and 70's muscle cars were faster than anything new today.
That is my Dad to a T. He had a Nova with a straight 6 and swears up and down how much faster it was then a lot of new shit. 😂😂😂
 

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