I got the interior back together. Of course that didn't go without a touch of heartbreak though. I thought I had the seat back installed in it's lower catch but it wasn't. When I went to fold it upright it shattered the plastic C-pillar trim on one side. Then I tried folding it back down and it shattered the other side. It was total amateur hour, and they looked mint before all this.
I can only find them for $75 a piece used. Nobody seems to be repopping them, so I'm kinda screwed. Even if I could get one shipped in one piece, what are the odds that I could install them in the same manner? It's 80s plastic, so I think those odds are slim to none. Cracked is how they'll stay.
I did replace the seat bottom with the one from my old wagon though. I have no idea why I still had it, but it's in better shape than the one that was already in the car. The piping is straight and there are no holes in the vinyl. Why not?
I finally replaced that obnoxious tag light lens. It should actually shine downward instead of backward now.
And we're in the clear! ... Get it?