💬 OT 🧑‍🍼 The new/new-ish dad thread

v6buicks

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We have not had it that rough, we battled weight gain on my daughter and mainly because breast feeding didn’t go well but supplementing helped both my wife and daughter. It was hard for her to accept that she just wasn’t producing enough but once she did everyone was happier. She also basically cried for the first 2 months unless being held. That was cool……


All I can say is it always gets better with baby stuff, hiccups along the road but nothing in the grand scheme of things. It sounds like you’ve got a game plan that hopefully works and he’s what matters.

Do what you can to help and if cleaning or picking up helps her take her mind off things than do other things. I changed every GD poop both my children had (pretty much). Packing on dad weight is a for sure thing, I did what I could while holding my kids late at night, squats, lifting babies up lol.
If you don't mind me asking, how long did it take for the milk to come in? My wife has been trying but she has no idea how to go about it. All these appointments and ER visits haven't helped with the routines either. All her friends either had it easy or gave up really quick. Our moms have both been awful at giving advice, so we're really just winging it with the feedings.
 

Bob Kazamakis

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If you don't mind me asking, how long did it take for the milk to come in? My wife has been trying but she has no idea how to go about it. All these appointments and ER visits haven't helped with the routines either. All her friends either had it easy or gave up really quick. Our moms have both been awful at giving advice, so we're really just winging it with the feedings.
It was like a week after birth and it never really came in enough to sustain my daughter’s weight. She was pumping, she was feeding, she saw a specialist, went to classes etc. honestly wish she wasn’t so stubborn about supplementing but all these specialists were so anti formula it was wild. Finally she saw a lactation specialist that was basically like “what’s better, her struggling to maintain weight or for her to gain like she’s supposed to be”.

My daughter was in the fight for life percentile at that point, it was border line but she was still there. We supplemented and she got breast milk when my wife produced it and everyone was better for it.


Second kid she pumped and breast fed for like 3 months then was done and we supplemented like day 1.
 

v6buicks

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Damn. That's tough. It really makes me wonder how people managed back in the days before formula. Then again infant mortality wasn't as promising then either... Damn it. My wife is determined to make it work. She's pumping, breast feeding, and "supplementing" with formula. Formula is really the main course though and her supply really hasn't seemed to increase. 😥 I can't imagine that this can continue as she starts working again though. It's going to have to be boobs or bottles.
 

Lord Tin Foilhat

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Beware of long sob story. I really just need to vent. Dad life has started out a bit rough. Even my wife has been saying that if this shit keeps up, we may be capping our kid count at one.

The last post I made in this thread was the day after he was born, and it's been an emotional roller coaster ever since. Elliott was brought into the NICU to regulate his blood sugar. That was taken care of really quick, but he ended up staying for 16 days because he kept desatting. Three days before he went home he was taken off oxygen, and his levels remained acceptable for the remainder of his stay. We were very excited to bring him home and finally start having a normal family life, but that only lasted three days.

We went to his first pediatrician appointment where they found his O2 to be chilling in the 80s. That was concerning, so he was ordered a nap study which basically a sleep study for babies. He had a ton of crap attached to him for 6 hours and it made him miserable. I don't blame him. Look at all those wires!
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Until this point I was keeping my cool. I had to display an annoying amount of optimism to keep my wife from spiralling into some serious post-partum depression. Neither the pregnancy nor the birth, nor the family life has gone smoothly or as expected. It's really been one bummer after another which is wearing her down. I was convinced that Elliott was fine and just needed his lungs to mature anyway because that's what all the NICU nurses were saying. Unfortunately, the results of the nap study said otherwise which felt like a big middle finger.

Elliott has severe obstructive sleep apnea and it kills me to learn that this super chill baby who rarely cries is likely this way because he's too tired to put up a fuss. Even worse is that his o2 went down to the very low 80s and stayed there 6 minutes. Apparently that's bad enough to cause brain damage. 😞 We also won't know if it did until he's old enough to show developmental or behavioral issues so it'll be nice to have that hanging over our heads. How this poor kid managed to pass a 3 day oxygen test to get out of the NICU is beyond any of us, but until the doctors fix whatever is causing the obstruction, we have to keep Elliott on oxygen and a monitor whenever he's sleeping.

My optimism has quickly turned into depression, and my wife is kind of just a zombie who hasn't had time for sleep or emotions between endless appointments, unsuccessful breast feeding, and preparing for an upcoming back surgery. I try to take on any house chores I can, but she insists that she doesn't want me doing anything. I don't know if I should be happy that she's got things that keep her mind busy or worried that her mind is too busy to get good sleep or let a good cry out. I'm just trying to keep the mood as light as I can.

Meanwhile, I'm not exactly in great shape either. I have a history of tumors in my mouth and my dentist just found a new one. Joys. My jaw has been messed up for about 15 years, but it's just now starting to get problematic and painful to eat. Insurance may not cover that $5500 device to fix it either. I still have to figure that out. I'm gaining weight like crazy too. We haven't exactly found motivation to cook through all this, but I'm hoping all this will soon pass.

I don't wish this shit on anyone. This oxygen and monitor is such a massive pain in the ass on top of the normal new baby stressors. We are very hopeful that the fix is just having his tonsils and some other soft palate removed. Apparently that's a very likely cause for this in babies. We only know that surgery is inevitable.
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I don't know if any of you guys have had a chronically sick newborn, but man I'd like to know.how you held up and how you juggled the rest of life's nonsense. I've been getting by, but it can't keep this up forever. I about lost it today because I somehow lost my brand new rake... Seriously. Where the fuck did I put it? I caught the mom brain.

I love this little man to death. I hate that he appears so happy and healthy yet we need to keep pissing him off with all these tests and devices. It's not fair.
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Damn man, thats a rough start for sure. Hang in there!
 

Bob Kazamakis

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Damn. That's tough. It really makes me wonder how people managed back in the days before formula. Then again infant mortality wasn't as promising then either... Damn it. My wife is determined to make it work. She's pumping, breast feeding, and "supplementing" with formula. Formula is really the main course though and her supply really hasn't seemed to increase. 😥 I can't imagine that this can continue as she starts working again though. It's going to have to be boobs or bottles.
FYI both my kids are healthy and pretty average on weight and near the top of the charts for height. Hopefully your wife isn’t beating herself up too much about breast feeding vs formula. Any breast milk is good for them and helps with their immune system. Formula is just fine too (minus beating up your wallet)
 
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DanJ

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If you don't mind me asking, how long did it take for the milk to come in? My wife has been trying but she has no idea how to go about it. All these appointments and ER visits haven't helped with the routines either. All her friends either had it easy or gave up really quick. Our moms have both been awful at giving advice, so we're really just winging it with the feedings.

The expectations to breast feed are ridiculous. Our first kid my wife was pumping, using these titty massagers that look like weird vibrators, drinking special tea, making these snacks that were heavy in some sort of oats that are supposed to make milk, multiple visits to the lactation nurse, and the kid still wasn’t getting enough. She did all that nonsense for a couple months or so supplementing with formula, and eventually just threw in the towel on it and did all formula. Second kid 16 months later she didn’t do anything special and was like a dairy cow. I don’t think he got formula the first 6 months at all. Both kids are healthy now at 2.5 and 1. The little guy is kind of built like a brick shithouse though and only 6 pounds lighter than his older brother, but we can’t say that’s because of the breast milk :rofl:.
 

Bru

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Someone else here had similar feeding issues, I think maybe it was Bru Bru but I may be mistaken.
Yup. It was a struggle with kid #1 because of the societal expectations and “breast is best” bullshit. We were in a grind with pumping, bottles, equipment, exercises, formula, specialists, etc. Eventually went to formula only after 3 months I think. Just wasn’t going to happen to fully feed her with breast milk. And with kid #2, she tried for a short time and went straight to formula with no hesitation.
 

smug

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We went through the same thing with breastfeeding. My wife tried and tried, took supplements, pumped, you name it. Her mom kept pushing the breastfeeding on her when she knew that we were struggling and made her feel like a failure. Really pissed me off. After a couple months we just had to use formula exclusively
 

Yaj Yak

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Man I can't even imagine all of that. My girl had jaundice and we had to wrap her in a UV light at night for only like 3 days and my wife almost lost her mind. I can't imagine something that is actually serious.


the jaundice shit is so annoying because sunshine can help more than those blankets.
 

Yaj Yak

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Yeah they said get her outside too. She actually liked the blanket because it was nice and warm and put her to sleep. So I didn't hate it.
our issue was we thought we were heading down the bilirubin path and they kept us another night and didn't give us the glow-worm blanket.

had they given us the blanket in the hospital we likely would have just been good to go, but instead we delayed it and we had to do the blanket at home still
 

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our issue was we thought we were heading down the bilirubin path and they kept us another night and didn't give us the glow-worm blanket.

had they given us the blanket in the hospital we likely would have just been good to go, but instead we delayed it and we had to do the blanket at home still
Yeah we had to do it at home. She was under the limit at the hospital but was over at the 2 day pediatrician appointment. It was a weekend and it was done so it wasn't a big deal.
 

sktchy

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I'm gonna jump on the breast milk probably isn't super critical thing but man it'd save a lot of money. I can't imagine what formula costs now compared to what it did a decade ago but both my kids had to have the expensive crap or they'd throw up or shit everywhere. Doesn't seem real long ago people were on FB hustling cans of the shit back and forth like it was drugs due to shortages either.
 

Yaj Yak

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I'm gonna jump on the breast milk probably isn't super critical thing but man it'd save a lot of money. I can't imagine what formula costs now compared to what it did a decade ago but both my kids had to have the expensive crap or they'd throw up or shit everywhere. Doesn't seem real long ago people were on FB hustling cans of the shit back and forth like it was drugs due to shortages either.

well and it got to the point where, do you actually trust the formula company that was available at the time after all the shit they were going through.

we were importing some sort of european formula my wife found out about and our kid loved it. granted my wife primarily breast fed and supplemented after a while but that's beside the point.
 

sktchy

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I just know I'm glad mine are big enough to wipe their own asses and no way in hell Id even think about having another. Props to all you guys with new babies the shits not easy. Up all night for days on end and trying to deal with normal life on top of it, and that's without complications.
 

DanJ

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I'm gonna jump on the breast milk probably isn't super critical thing but man it'd save a lot of money. I can't imagine what formula costs now compared to what it did a decade ago but both my kids had to have the expensive crap or they'd throw up or shit everywhere. Doesn't seem real long ago people were on FB hustling cans of the shit back and forth like it was drugs due to shortages either.

I got really lucky. I was having our pediatrician write a prescription for formula. I was getting 23 tubs of it from express scripts for $140 I think it was because my wife wanted the non gmo stuff.
 

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Saturday morning I got up at 2:50 am to go deer hunting. Got home at 9:30 at night, and my wife tells me to shower and get dressed because we are going to the hospital. A few hours later, we had a little girl. Named her Zelie Louise. This is our 5th. Here's a picture of her almost two year old brother holding her for the first time. He was over the moon.
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v6buicks

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Saturday morning I got up at 2:50 am to go deer hunting. Got home at 9:30 at night, and my wife tells me to shower and get dressed because we are going to the hospital. A few hours later, we had a little girl. Named her Zelie Louise. This is our 5th. Here's a picture of her almost two year old brother holding her for the first time. He was over the moon.
Congrats!
 
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