Rod Blagojevich Never-Say-Die 500 - Lemons Chicago @ ZEE AUTOBAHN Country Club October 22 - 25
Cliffs:
What: Road race featuring the most ridiculous looking cars you'll ever see.
Where: Autobahn Country Club in Joliet, IL. North Track
When: Friday October 22 thru Sunday October 25
How Much: $30 weekend pass or $20 per day for spectators
Website: www.24hoursoflemons.com
DIRECTIONS
Autobahn Country Club
3795 South Patterson Rd
Joliet IL
815.722.2223
The Whole Story:
For those of you who are not familiar with the Lemons series of racing, perhaps you may have heard of Chump Car? No? Well, let me enlighten you all on this embarrassingly asinine series of racing. Lemons is a car racing series that is based on exactly what its name implies; crap pile clunker cars that have been hacked, bolted and taped together into often unidentifiable pieces of manned machinery. In short, it's absolutely one of the most fun experiences you may ever partake in.
Each car in this series has a purchase and build budget of $500 dollars, excluding safety equipment such as a mandatory roll cage, tires and brakes. Anything else that is used to build the car such as engine, transmission, suspension, etc. components must fall within the total build cost of $500 bucks. Granted, at every event, each team must pass their claptrap through Bullshit Inspection at which point the judges bless or bury your ride. If they have a sneaking suspicion that you have somehow managed to exceed your budget, they reserve the right to penalize you laps from the beginning of the race (a CRX was penalized 6,789 laps at the beginning of the last race). If your fears get the best of you, it may be wise to bring offerings to the judges so that you might bribe them into letting you pass through unpenalized. Don't take this lightly, as last year my team jokingly 'bribed' the judges with a couple handfuls of change, some old coupons and a bit of pocket lint, and the proceeded to smack us with a 50 lap penalty for being cheap! We later went on to roast the motor from a blown head gasket 1.5 hours into the race, only to finish at -23 laps. It was a great success! Furthermore, if at any point during the race you somehow fail to maintain control of the heap you call a 'race car,' spin out, slide all four wheels off the track, pass under yellow, or just generally drive like an asshole, the judges will send word to the corner workers to rabidly wave and point the black flag at you until you return to the penalty box in the pits. This is where things get real interesting. Depending on how many times you have been black flagged and/or the severity of the crimes you have committed, you and your team may be forced to do things such as don fake mustaches and village people costumes en lieu of parading around the pits to the tune of 'Macho Man.' Perhaps you spun yourself off the course in the first turn, so the judges call you in to write, Bart Simpson style across the outside of your car, "Only a moron goes off the track in the first turn" until your fingers are so cramped that Christopher Reeve could do a better job of writing. Did I mention that these things are EXTREMELY entertaining to watch as spectators?
So now that you know WHAT Lemons is, I'm going to tell you where it is. Following this past weekend's race at Gingerman Raceway in South Haven MI., Lemons will be moving the tour to Joliet, IL for the Rod Blagojevich 500. Practice and tech inspection begin the morning of Friday October 22. Racing is from 10am to 5:30pm Saturday October 23 and 9am to 4pm Sunday October 24.
Full weekend spectator passes are $30 or else it is $20 per day. If you so choose, you can bring a tent, pop up trailer, or even an RV, and camp out at the track. Beer is not provided, but highly encouraged as long as you are not driving on or off the course (Just don't bring glass bottles anywhere near the track or pit area).
These events are an awesome time for both racers and spectators. I highly suggest that each and every one of you come out to the track for this event. Bring your cameras, bring your friends, bring lots of beer. I guarantee you will have a great time.
Now, here are some pictures and videos of this last event at Gingerman. My team is the Mutt Cutts (Dumb and Dumber) Dodge Neon. Enjoy!
For nearly 800 hi-rez pictures from the event, go here http://muttcutts.shutterfly.com/
Yes, that is a monkey fucking a football.
The whole Mutt Cutts team.
Team Sleigher! This thing was absolutely hilarious going down the track.
And I'll see what I can do about getting video up later on.
Cliffs:
What: Road race featuring the most ridiculous looking cars you'll ever see.
Where: Autobahn Country Club in Joliet, IL. North Track
When: Friday October 22 thru Sunday October 25
How Much: $30 weekend pass or $20 per day for spectators
Website: www.24hoursoflemons.com
DIRECTIONS
Autobahn Country Club
3795 South Patterson Rd
Joliet IL
815.722.2223
The Whole Story:
For those of you who are not familiar with the Lemons series of racing, perhaps you may have heard of Chump Car? No? Well, let me enlighten you all on this embarrassingly asinine series of racing. Lemons is a car racing series that is based on exactly what its name implies; crap pile clunker cars that have been hacked, bolted and taped together into often unidentifiable pieces of manned machinery. In short, it's absolutely one of the most fun experiences you may ever partake in.
Each car in this series has a purchase and build budget of $500 dollars, excluding safety equipment such as a mandatory roll cage, tires and brakes. Anything else that is used to build the car such as engine, transmission, suspension, etc. components must fall within the total build cost of $500 bucks. Granted, at every event, each team must pass their claptrap through Bullshit Inspection at which point the judges bless or bury your ride. If they have a sneaking suspicion that you have somehow managed to exceed your budget, they reserve the right to penalize you laps from the beginning of the race (a CRX was penalized 6,789 laps at the beginning of the last race). If your fears get the best of you, it may be wise to bring offerings to the judges so that you might bribe them into letting you pass through unpenalized. Don't take this lightly, as last year my team jokingly 'bribed' the judges with a couple handfuls of change, some old coupons and a bit of pocket lint, and the proceeded to smack us with a 50 lap penalty for being cheap! We later went on to roast the motor from a blown head gasket 1.5 hours into the race, only to finish at -23 laps. It was a great success! Furthermore, if at any point during the race you somehow fail to maintain control of the heap you call a 'race car,' spin out, slide all four wheels off the track, pass under yellow, or just generally drive like an asshole, the judges will send word to the corner workers to rabidly wave and point the black flag at you until you return to the penalty box in the pits. This is where things get real interesting. Depending on how many times you have been black flagged and/or the severity of the crimes you have committed, you and your team may be forced to do things such as don fake mustaches and village people costumes en lieu of parading around the pits to the tune of 'Macho Man.' Perhaps you spun yourself off the course in the first turn, so the judges call you in to write, Bart Simpson style across the outside of your car, "Only a moron goes off the track in the first turn" until your fingers are so cramped that Christopher Reeve could do a better job of writing. Did I mention that these things are EXTREMELY entertaining to watch as spectators?
So now that you know WHAT Lemons is, I'm going to tell you where it is. Following this past weekend's race at Gingerman Raceway in South Haven MI., Lemons will be moving the tour to Joliet, IL for the Rod Blagojevich 500. Practice and tech inspection begin the morning of Friday October 22. Racing is from 10am to 5:30pm Saturday October 23 and 9am to 4pm Sunday October 24.
Full weekend spectator passes are $30 or else it is $20 per day. If you so choose, you can bring a tent, pop up trailer, or even an RV, and camp out at the track. Beer is not provided, but highly encouraged as long as you are not driving on or off the course (Just don't bring glass bottles anywhere near the track or pit area).
These events are an awesome time for both racers and spectators. I highly suggest that each and every one of you come out to the track for this event. Bring your cameras, bring your friends, bring lots of beer. I guarantee you will have a great time.
Now, here are some pictures and videos of this last event at Gingerman. My team is the Mutt Cutts (Dumb and Dumber) Dodge Neon. Enjoy!
For nearly 800 hi-rez pictures from the event, go here http://muttcutts.shutterfly.com/
Yes, that is a monkey fucking a football.
The whole Mutt Cutts team.
Team Sleigher! This thing was absolutely hilarious going down the track.
And I'll see what I can do about getting video up later on.
that had to be ridiculous at gingerman being so small.
