Whew, thought I was the only one who went a bit nutz on some of these things.
Leaving dishes in the sink, the damn dishwasher is right next to it.... WTF?
I do 95% of the cooking and our rule is if you cook the other does the dishes. As someone else here stated when she cooks every god damn dish/utensil gets used. Yet when I cook I try to minimize the dishes for her and she still bitches about how many dishes there are. My response is always the same, fine you cook then. Case closed every time but still aggravates the shit out of me.
UPS/FEDEx/Amazon are at my house almost every damn day. My wife buys shit constantly, 95% of it gets' returned. I don't understand this, why buy something you didn't need or want only to have to run to the store or post office or whatever to return the damn thing. I usually end up having to do the returns because I usually run the errands. Just recently I've refused to do them anymore.
Can't send the wife to the store, if there was 10 items on the list she would come back with 30 items and half of what we needed was missed. I'm a typical guy, go to the store get what's on the list and GTFO.
My wife doesn't know how to break down a box, if I'm in a mood and don't do it she will eventually just throw it in the garage so I have to break it down. (She knows how to work my OCD)
The "We need to do this" line. What this means is I will be doing it. Like "We need to re-arrange the bedroom for the millionth fucking time" Yup that means I'm busting my back moving all the furniture. Only to have that same line thrown at me 2 months later.
The whole this is a man's job comment but will blow her stack if I ever say this is a woman's job comment. Sorry hon you can't have it both ways..
My wife pays the bills, our finances are together. I never know exactly how much she spends and I honestly don't care. IF the bills are paid in full and we put money into savings NFG. I do get pissed when I have to spend money on a tool or car part or just anything I want and she questions it. I spent $300 on something last month and it's a drop in the bucket but I had to explain what it was for and why it was needed and I still get the look.. yes you know the one I'm talking about. Yet If I pulled up the credit cards for all the shit that shipped to the house I guaranfuckingtee there's over 1k there. We have money don't bust my balls about what I buy because you wouldn't buy it. I certaintely don't bitch when another set of shoes shows up to add to the shoe store collection in this house.
The garage is my domain none of her shit gets stored in there, this has been known since before we started living together. Yet somehow she sneaks shit into the garage and it never leaves. I still catch flack about something I threw out 2 years ago that sat in the garage for over 5 years.
These last two sets me off the most,
"we need to declutter this house". See lines 3, 4, 6. Granted she knows its all her shit but don't complain to me about it and don't throw a hissy fit when I won't help.
She'll ask me how to do something or how something works etc. I'll explain it to her and she'll tell me that's wrong or I don't think that's how that works. Yet a month will go by and she'll tell me she talked to a family member or friend and they told her the same thing. WTF if you won't believe what I tell you then don't fucking ask me. I mean some of these things are stupid simple that you could google right off your phone...
Now that's mostly a bunch of nitpicking bullshit, I know the list from her about me would be way worse. My wife does a lot, she works hard both at the job and at home. None of these items are dealbreakers and based on some of the crazies I used to date my wife is an angel.