Do you like to waste Telemarketer's time?

[Thirdgen89GTA]

You know those calls. I specifically love the ones about lowering my interest rate. I've got a loose script down for these.

I answer a whole bunch of questions, then double back on some as a mistake, and in generally be as anally detailed as possible with my questions. I drag it on for as long as possible, then decided that the rep can't answer certain questions, so I ask for a supervisor. Sometimes I'm transferred, this time I was told I was wasting my time. I faked some anger and then asked to be removed from the call list.

This went on for a good 18 minutes I'd say. There were silences where the rep would just huff and rant in indian. I could hear conversations in an indian language in the background.

Today I kept the rep on the phone for almost 25 minutes. Its not as funny as the Tom Mabe's skit where he pretends to be a detective investigating an active murder case.

But my goal here isn't necessarily humor for other people. its to waste as MUCH of the reps time as possible. Reps are generally graded on how long it takes to close an offer, or how many offers they can get.

So by keeping the guy on the phone for way longer than needed I get to hurt their bottom line in a very small way. It would be nice if you could report these to your carrier, who could then collate them into a list, then give that to the government to black list the company.

The longest time I've ever been able to keep a rep on the phone and get him raging was almost 40 minutes.

If they call again I'll probably answer with some official government office title just to screw around.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6a-CZMrVAg

Click to read more...

 

[VenomousDSG]

Or course, and LOL at that youtube video, that is as old as the internet.

 

[Thirdgen89GTA]

Or course, and LOL at that youtube video, that is as old as the internet.

I know, its just so entertaining though.

Its like the Duke Nukem soundboard trolling videos.

 

[SHARKBITEATTACK]

Op you got too much time on your hands.

 

[Flyn]

The doofus on the other end of the phone isn't the target to me. I go after the bosses.

Like you, I take a bit of time but I personalize things by asking for the caller's name and drawing him into a non script conversation. Guy who called me recently said his name was Alex. Indian accent, of course.

Alex? Nice to meet you, Alex. By the way, how do you spell your name Alex?

Uh... L... (pause) X.

I'm not kidding. This is the exact conversation. He spelled his "name" L... X.

So, I called him L... X. for the rest of the conversation.

I told him that American laws make it possible to prosecute the callers of telemarketing calls but not their bosses.

Did your boss tell you he could not be arrested and you were OK, too, L... X?

Yes, he did. Sir, I want to talk to you about business loans.

L... X. He was not telling you the truth. You can be arrested for calling America and trying to sell business loans to us. Your boss won't be. He'll hire another person, maybe M... Y. (I almost lost it here), and they will take your job. Plus, when you are arrested, I will get all your money. Do you have a lot of money L... X? I hope so because I'm going to get it all after you are arrested.

Sputter. Sputter. But Sir, I want to... Sir.

You know what, L... X? I like you. I'm going to do you a favor. If you run to your boss right now and quit, I will not have you arrested.

Sir?

Do it now L... X. I'm hanging up and calling my American lawyers. If you are still there when the police show up, you will be arrested and I get all your money. Run L... X. Run like Forrest Gump. Click!

It's always hilarious and I get extra points if anybody actually quits. I can't get at the bosses so I try to make their employees unhappy.

 

[Thirdgen89GTA]

Today the guy got really upset towards the end, but didn't hang up. It was like a staring contest.

he flinched.

He started on a bit about how he makes more money than I do, and I kept repeating back that I wasn't the guy answering robocalls.

I think the money thing is what finally got to him, and the 20+ minutes on the phone where i kept reminding him that his queue time was filling up.

 

[blakbearddelite]

I had never heard the Tom Mabe one before, that was awesome!

 

[blck10th]

[MENTION=7534]wolfe[/MENTION]

 

[stock-t-bird]

I usually rip into them and then ramble my shit to them
When I grow up Im going to be a telemarketer dad...that's what I want to do in life,please send me to College so I can do this.
then comes,you need to look for a new job man..the ladies love you for your important job in life..i want to marry this guy he has a great job etc...wake the fuck up & quit calling me,find a new job man

they always hang up on me

 

[guspech750]

Got rid of home phone. End of BS phone calls.

 

[LiquidPen]

I get them all the time at work... My favorite is they are calling from konica trying to sell me ink.. I act all interested etc... keep on phone randomly am like yea don't print emails we write them fax them and send them or use paul revere service, smoke signals, telepathy etc... Then keep them on line longer..

Or I tellem hang on i just got out of the shower at work.. Had a guy the other day called about some ecommerce thing and I am like I could totally sell sex toys and what not.. Hes like yes sir (giggles) and went on and on.. I am like so with reviews and what not kept on that for a while he hung up after realizing it's a joke..

I love fucking w/them..

 

[cap42]

Haven't done this in a few years due to not having a home phone, but I would ask dirty questions and get them to hang up on me.

I had one broad get her supervisor to call me back telling me they were going to file a sexual lawsuit complaint. I just told the supervisor she called me and so did you.... So what are you wearing? That ended that real quick and amazingly I didn't get nearly as many calls from then on.

Yes this was before Jake from State Farm commercials.

 

[zenriddles]

I have a loose script of a fictitious old green couch in my basement that I try to sell to them.
They say they don't want the couch, and I relentlessly try to force it upon them until they hang up. I start at like $200.00 and let them 'chisel' me down to like $50.00 and then get angry that they are not respecting me as a salesman.
I just keep ignoring their efforts to guide the conversation until they hang up.

Still got that fucking couch, but I have hope....

 

[importcrew]

Never heard the Tom Mabe one but those were pretty good. At least some of the ones I've listened to. That pornstar one was awesome. Lol

 

[Bob Kazamakis]

Got rid of home phone. End of BS phone calls.

That has not stopped them for me as of late.

 

[bnr32]

as bad as it is I usually answer my phone with unknown numbers in a slightly retarded hello voice. that way if it's not for me I just go on with it and they always feel bad about hanging up on a tard talking about how he went to the park to watch birds and bunnies play. they usually ask for my parents then I will tell them a story about how my parents took me to a baseball game. everything they say I always have an story answer for. my record was 49 minutes before my friend couldn't stop laughing in the background and they hung up.

 

[blck10th]

That has not stopped them for me as of late.

This. Even if you're not on the do not call list. I get tons of calls to my cellphone. I never answer them. I block all of them. Even my kid get them to his cell #.