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Old 10-03-2016, 08:52 AM   #1
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Default Gather round, it's story time chillen'

I'm sure some of you have heard about this video:



Basically, this guy invites multiple girls from tinder at the same time to go on a boat and none of them know until they start talking and find out about each other. The video goes viral on all the types of media outlets that play this stuff.

So here's me. I'm browsing reddit about 10 days ago, and follow all the Chicago groups. Someone puts up a post looking for a driver for boat that they rented, compensation is food, booze and being the only guy on a boat of ten girls. I responded to it naturally, saying I've spent plenty of time boating and was around the same age. A couple messages back and forth and I get a Facebook friend request to get the creep background check out of the way. It took about 20 seconds to realize the girl is the one from the video Her page was just blowing up with people talking about the whole tinder boat incident. A boat rental startup, boatsetter, saw her video and gave her a free rental to drum up some media for them.

Yesterday was the day of the rental. We had a 33' Larson Cabrio at 59th street harbor. In typical boating fashion, half the people are 20 minutes late and one girl was over an hour behind. The girl supplying the booze and boat rental locks her keys in her car trunk (with all the booze) at Walmart in the hood. She ditches the car and just ubered there. Already off to a great start. I go over the boat with the owner, everything is in good shape and largely without issue. He says the port motor acts up once in a while and can be hard to get started. The guy is cool about everything, tells us to drink the rest of his beer on the boat because he's pulling it out this week, lets us start our 4 hour time slot at noon instead of 11 when it was supposed to. Awesome, great, things are looking better.

We get out on the lake, head out from shore about half a mile to dodge the Morgan Shoal and turn straight north, bound for the playpen. 59th street is pretty damn far south, I can see Indiana super close, skyway bridge, etc. 9 mile ride up to downtown goes without a hitch, get it anchored and we are one of three boats total in the playpen. It was cloudy, no rain, no wind and 62ish. overall not shabby for a random October day. Immediately, one girl is already complaining about feeling sea sick and two others are planning their getting home. They want to be dropped off at Monroe at 3. NOPE. told them the harbor is the only place we are going. it's not my boat and I don't want to be responsible running around in unfamiliar places.

The day is starting to feel salvaged from the BS. We had a few bottles of wine, some grub and a fridge with a handful of beers. 45 minutes of being anchored and the conservation police troll into the playpen. I've never even seen them in the water out in Chicago before. They make a new line for our boat, naturally. These girls are totally clueless and start hiding booze thinking they can't have open containers in public. Got them to chill out because there's no problem with it. The conservation police pull up close and I hop out to the swim platform to see what's up. They ask what's going on, where we came out of, etc. Asked for registration and I told them I don't know if it's on the boat, it's a rental and our whole situation. I go into the cabin and find a bunch of documents but no registration. Gave everything I could find to these guys and they backed off and went through it all.

Well, boat registration hasn't been renewed since 2005. Awesome. I'm going to be the one getting the ticket for it since I'm the captain. Called the boat owner right away to see if he had registration hiding somewhere but he doesn't. He claims since he got a coast guard certified boat, he doesn't need to have registration. I relay that to the conservation police and they NOPE that one instantly. Guy writes my $120 ticket then boards us to do a safety inspection. All our ducks were in a row for that luckily. I made sure of that before we left. Conservation police were nice, they were laughing about the story of the tinder boat situation and everything that happened. They were just out there doing what they're supposed to be doing.

Alright, back to having some fun? Everyone loosens up about the day at this point, couple of the girls are drunk and swimming in underwear, a couple others are complaining it's cold and they want to go back an hour early, couple others are seasick. We start to pack it up 30 minutes early, of course port motor is being a fuss. I got it going after a minute without too much of a hassle and roll out.

We're pulling under lakeshore drive into the harbor and the port motor dies. FUCK. try to start it twice with no luck. This is a tiny harbor and it's EXTREMELY TIGHT. Easily the most confined docks I've ever been at, in a boat larger than I'm used to, on one motor, with 10 girls who know nothing about boating. holy fuck. I almost had it backed in on one motor but got too close to another boat and had to abort since I had no (useful) help to push off or do things without needing direction. Spun it around and did a shit job of getting the boat nosed up to the dock. Got lucky and some people came out to toss a line over and lasso the boat in.

The owner shows up half an hour later at the time we were supposed to be back and I tell him what's up with the boat and ticket. He wants to contest the ticket, but it's in my name. Not a chance in hell in taking time out of my day to go to court for him (again, ticket is for me because I was the operator) or pay this thing. He was easy enough to convince to just hand over the $120 cash for the ticket so I could mail it in and handle it.

I ended up giving a ride home to one of the drunk girls and her friend who lives a neighborhood over from me. Of course perfect timing going up lakeshore that the bears game had just let out. She passes out in my front seat with her head between her knees for an hour in traffic. Slumped over sideways once and knocked my shifter into manual 1st gear while going 40 car is bouncing off the limiter before I push her back over and get it into drive again.

THE END!

The girls offered to take me out for dinner some time for helping out. Story to be continued?
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Old 10-03-2016, 08:58 AM   #2
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That sounds exhausting and not worth it...unless you get into a MFFFFFF orgy.
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Old 10-03-2016, 08:58 AM   #3
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yaaaaas
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Old 10-03-2016, 08:59 AM   #4
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That sounds exhausting and not worth it...unless you get into a MFFFFFF orgy.
immediate regrets as soon as shit started hitting the fan at the harbor
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Old 10-03-2016, 09:01 AM   #5
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will watch video late.

waiting for follow up story, as well as more captin drilling weekends.
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Old 10-03-2016, 09:06 AM   #6
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No drilling happened. Drunk girl was really cute though. Tall brunette, nerdy hipstery look. Much like. Wasn't going to be a dirtbag though. If this dinner thing pans out, we shall see then.
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Old 10-03-2016, 09:11 AM   #7
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Sounds like a good story to pass on down to your kids....
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Old 10-03-2016, 09:11 AM   #8
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oh and TFTI
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Old 10-03-2016, 09:16 AM   #9
 
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TFTI for 1st mate invite brah

difficulty with port motors
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Old 10-03-2016, 09:21 AM   #10
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WTFBBQ is all I have
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Old 10-03-2016, 09:26 AM   #11
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Welcome to the new TCG Penthouse letters to the editor forum.
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Old 10-03-2016, 09:38 AM   #12
 
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Was this like a legit rental? (bound bound) or was it a clist thing?

Blows my mind people let rentals go out with problems. Especially obvious shit like registration issues. My buddy is a member of the Carefree Boat Club and he calls it the Careless boat club. I've been on numerous "rentals" with him. They were newer boats but every single one had safty issues. Lights not working, anchors not able to be released, no VHF, etc. A boat actually sunk from that club over the summer. Id assume because of a maintenance issue.
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Old 10-03-2016, 09:50 AM   #13
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it was the company boatsetter
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Old 10-03-2016, 09:54 AM   #14
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how many more of these will you do, and will you start your own tinder boat adventure group on the chain?
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Old 10-03-2016, 09:54 AM   #15
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pardon my spelling and grammar, I typed this up on my phone.
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Old 10-03-2016, 09:56 AM   #16
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I'm surprised Jared hasn't made Backroom Casting Boat yet.
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Old 10-03-2016, 10:02 AM   #17
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guys guys guys. I think I'm pretty normal/average/whatever most of the time with a handful of funny stories. Im not a lady killer or womanizer. but it's no fun to hear about the cringe stories and many many times I miserably fail at anything relating to dating.
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Old 10-03-2016, 10:03 AM   #18
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It's funny to play it up and have that little bit of persona. I'm definitely a big joker all the time and enjoy entertaining the masses that are TCG. We all have our own online reputation
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Old 10-03-2016, 10:04 AM   #19
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oh, dont sell yourslef short.
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Old 10-03-2016, 10:05 AM   #20
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haha.

I have a knack for going after situations that can turn into either total disasters or great successes
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Old 10-03-2016, 10:05 AM   #21
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and both can make great stories.
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Old 10-03-2016, 05:27 PM   #22
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woah, I would have aborted really fast
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Old 10-05-2016, 04:54 PM   #23
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Sounds like a good time! Good for you. Hopefully dinner pans out and we all can be entertained with PART TWO of this story.
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Old 10-05-2016, 05:34 PM   #24
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Captain Jared. Needs to be a movie about the life of Captain Jared
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Old 10-05-2016, 07:08 PM   #25
 
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haha.

I have a knack for going after situations that can turn into either total disasters or great successes

I know what you mean there. I kicked a chick out of bed back in June because she was just crazy. Lol. So much potential to be a great success and it went up in flames like the Hindenburg.
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