Remember that article I wrote that got put on Jalopnik?

Mike K

TCG Elite Member
Apr 11, 2008
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This one: 10 Reasons The E60 535i Is Better Than The M5

I've received notifications on this article for months now. People have contacted me telling me they've bought one or contacted me and asked about the various packages, etc. And there's been a few naysayers as well but pretty much everyone knew what I was trying to say. While it's technically not the better car; it's the better car for most people.

That is until last week when I posted a link to the story on someone else's article about a cheap M5 for sale. This caused one commenter to come completely unhinged. First it was clear he hadn't read my article, just the headline since he was responding as if I was comparing a stock 535 to an M5. Then he read the article and ignored everything except for the part where I said it was a great handling car. Having absolutely no concept of the differences between the standard and sport suspension cars he firsts compares the standard 535 to the M5 and then once I explain the difference to him he compares the new 535 (still on the standard suspension :rofl:) to the M5. So he compares a completely different car than the one I'm talking about to the M5. One that is several hundred pounds heavier than the E60 5 series and based on the 7 series. Fucking bravo.

My wife gave birth to our second last week so I've had a little time to relax and this has resulted in hilarity for me. At first I thought he was just not understanding me so I tried to play the logic game. Then I realized no matter what I said he'd just reply with the same shit. So once a day for the last week I pop in and there are his replies. I take a little time to reply, have a beer, laugh and then eagerly await the next day's response. The longer it goes the more upset, wrong and ridiculous he gets.

I pretty much just gave up the back and forth because it was just going in circles but for awhile there were LOLZ to be had. He even found my posts here so I drove him to some degree of anger that resulted in him doing a bit of internet sleuthing on me. Anyhow, here you go. I hope I've provided some entertainment. Then again this might only be entertaining to me and you guys might think I'm just as stupid as I think he is. Internets, amirite?

Click link then scroll to comments. Is This Ridiculously Cheap V10 BMW M5 Worth Returning To Stock?
 
So as the owner of both cars I'm in a worse position than some guy on the internet Googling his retorts (and getting almost all of them wrong). Check!

Two things of note for your latest misinformed rant:

1. The video of the non-M5 you posted was of an F10 5 series. My article is so very clearly comparing the E60 M5 to the E60 535. You can't even get the generation of car you're comparing right.

2. The F10 5 series in the video is sitting on a standard (read: non-sport) suspension. While this suspension is perfectly capable for most people, it is of course softer. It's the standard suspension. You could bolt a standard base model 535 suspension on an M5 and it would have the same body roll. So not only are you not comparing the correct suspension but you're not even comparing the correct car! You may as well have posted a video of a 1984 Crossfire Corvette instead of the BMW.

Let me provide you with the opinions of some professionals that seems to disagree with your take on any BMW that's not an M series.

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Mike K

TCG Elite Member
Apr 11, 2008
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I seriously have no idea why he's so passionately pissed off. I totally realize there's a contingent of people that think the non-M version of some cars is better than the M version. [MENTION=239]Turk[/MENTION] can probably attest to all the 335 guys that thought their cars were better than the M3. This wasn't the argument I was making and to this point nobody thought it was. I was simply saying it's the better car for most people simply because most people don't drive their car on the track. Would I love to hear the sound of the V10 at full tilt? Absolutely but I'm not going to pay a $10,000 premium used for a car that costs more to maintain, more to fix, gets absolute shit gas mileage and is only marginally faster on the street at anything but a high speed roll race. And I think most people agree with me. Plus it's not like the 535 is a bad performing sedan. It's just that the M5 is a legitimate race car people daily drive.

People on the original article have disagreed with me but nobody has gotten so caught up on one aspect of it and come unraveled as much as this dude. I can actually picture him behind his keyboard, seething in anger.
 

Dan00Hawk

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Apr 10, 2011
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For somebody that stubborn, no amount of logic or reasoning will be able to convince him of anything that he doesn't want to hear. He probably feeds off of getting charged up and angry by engaging with people that allow him to keep going on his rants.

Perhaps he needs to burn off more energy by driving his M5 at 9/10's on a regular basis to prove how superior it is to others that couldn't care less... :)
 

KnightFan26917

Old Cars, Strong Hearts
Apr 28, 2009
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Elgin IL
For somebody that stubborn, no amount of logic or reasoning will be able to convince him of anything that he doesn't want to hear. He probably feeds off of getting charged up and angry by engaging with people that allow him to keep going on his rants.

Seems that way.

But, dang ... read through some of the comments ... wow.


Cort :) OLD CARS, STRONG HEARTS | memories, even if the whole world has forgotten
1979 & 1989 Caprice Classics | pigValve, paceMaker, cowValve
"What are we going to call it then?" __ Michael Martin Murphy __ 'Will It Be Love By Morning?'
 

Mike K

TCG Elite Member
Apr 11, 2008
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So far today I've learned that the M5 actually has more torque than a tuned N54 even though a tuned N54 dynos more at the wheels than the M5 is rated for at the crank, like a lot more.

Also, hollow drive shafts are something that every street car should have.

Good FUCK. I can't even. :rofl:
 

OffshoreDrilling

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Well according to you the best sports sedan made at the time (of course not comparing the M5) according to automotive journalists - the 535i - is apparently poor handling crap. This would lead one to believe that if the car generally regarded as the best is crap then any other sport sedan simply by virtue of not being the best, would also be crap. Ergo, henceforth, vis a vis, heretofore one must conclude that in your world there is no such thing as a sports sedan. There is only the M5 and then there's a bunch of poor handling crap that should never happen to cross the threshold of triple digit speeds lest the driver die a fiery death from even a basic lane change maneuver.

I'm dying!!
 
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