Anyone's girlfriends still talk to their ex

[02DyeFour]

I'll explain my situation a little bit.

My girlfriend and I started going out about 2 months ago. She just broke up with her old guy a couple weeks before we started talking. I met her just before she started going out with the guy, but we didn't really talk that much.

So, after they broke up and we started talking and shit, she always said how much she hated him and even brought me along one time when she had to give him something so he wouldn't talk to her.

Recently, and I didn't know this, they have been talking. That doesn't bother me at all. But, the other day, she went to his house to drop off a parking pass they use for college and she ended up staying there for 4 hours. By themselves.

That bothers me. So I got pissed at her.

Click to read more...

 

[Mickey]

Drop the bitch like a ton of lead. I can't think of one reason to hang out with an ex for 4 minutes let alone 4 hours. Shes foul.

 

[CamaroSS]

i dont see the problem with it personally. i was hanging out with my ex for hours when she was dating someone. i had no intentions of doing anything of course. that may not always be the way it happens, but still. if it was my girlfriend hanging out with an ex, id deal with it and have some trust, if i get burned by her from me trusting her, so be it. i dont start accusing people of shit cause its not worth the back fire if you are wrong

 

[EmersonHart13]

Confidence and trust test.

 

[02DyeFour]

I trust her.

I don't trust him that's the thing. I don't want him getting her all upset anymore. That's the reason the broke up so I don't know why she wants to go through that shit again.

He is just playing her. He acting like the nice guy now, then he is going to try to make a move on her and she won't go for it, then he'll get pissed. Then she'll hate him again.

That's the only problem I have with her. I don't want her ex to make her upset anymore. Other than that, she's fucking awesome.

 

[10sec]

I'm not saying to not trust her, but i agree with not having anything to say to any of my ex's at all. I want nothing to do with them but thats my own personal opinion, and everyones are different. This guy i work with goes out with his ex wife all the time, and both are married to different people he doesn't see anything wrong with that, where as i would think thats kinda strange. This is definitely a trust test, but another one of my opinions is, how much can you trust someone you just started dating 2 months ago? Its not like a 4-5 year relationship, this is 2 months you don't even know the girl yet lol, and soon you'll find out she's crazy like the rest of em'

 

[02DyeFour]

Well, the way I see it is, you either have trust in someone or you don't.

I think maybe, I've never been in a long term relationship, that trust changes over time. Situations change as time goes on.

I know that we haven't been together long but there has to be some kind of trust. And you can't just kind of trust someone.

...and I don't need to find out she's crazy...I already know.

 

[10sec]

Well, the way I see it is, you either have trust in someone or you don't.

I think maybe, I've never been in a long term relationship, that trust changes over time. Situations change as time goes on.

I know that we haven't been together long but there has to be some kind of trust. And you can't just kind of trust someone.

...and I don't need to find out she's crazy...I already know.

lol, yea they all are, just some take longer than others to let it out lol. Even if you trust someone though its human nature for that kinda stuff to bother you so don't feel bad about that. It's just weird whether anything happened or not, ex's are ex's there's usually a reason for that ya know?

 

[Jennifer]

I'll explain my situation a little bit.

My girlfriend and I started going out about 2 months ago. She just broke up with her old guy a couple weeks before we started talking. I met her just before she started going out with the guy, but we didn't really talk that much.

So, after they broke up and we started talking and shit, she always said how much she hated him and even brought me along one time when she had to give him something so he wouldn't talk to her.

Recently, and I didn't know this, they have been talking. That doesn't bother me at all. But, the other day, she went to his house to drop off a parking pass they use for college and she ended up staying there for 4 hours. By themselves.

That bothers me. So I got pissed at her.

Instead of "getting pissed at her," why not TELL HER what bothers you and why her talking with her ex concerns you.

Otherwise, if you "get pissed," you're just going to look like a douche bag.

 

[02DyeFour]

Instead of "getting pissed at her," why not TELL HER what bothers you and why her talking with her ex concerns you.

Otherwise, if you "get pissed," you're just going to look like a doucebag.

I told her it bothers me and I would appreciate if she didn't hang out with him out of respect for me. I got pissed because her reasoning doesn't make sense to me.

She said that she is going to see him around. They both go to UIC and share a class together. Which doesn't concern me because I have no reason to be mad about that. They have a lot of the same friends at UIC because that's how they met.

What pisses me off, or pissed me off, is that she went to see him...just to hang out. I think that is unacceptable. I wasn't mad at her talking to him, tho I don't see why she needs to. Its the fact that I feel it is disrespectful for them to hang out and she didn't see anything wrong in it.

The part that really pisses me off is that I know she would have gotten SUPER pissed if it was me visiting my ex.

I hope she understands and just lets him go. That's what I'm concerned with now is that she probably isn't over him.

 

[02DyeFour]

...and sorry for the lame thread

 

[greasy]

Yeah screw that bullshit, there is no reason for her to be hanging out with her ex. I mean her talking with him when they run into eachother is one thing, but hanging out like friends is another.

The only reason girls and guys are ever friends is because of 1 of 3 reasons. The girl is attracted to the guy, the guy is attracted to the girl, or they both are attracted to eachother.

Whatever it is straighten that shit out right now because if you wait too long you will be screwed. I know if I was seeing someone and they did that their ass would be on the curb.

 

[Jennifer]

I told her it bothers me and I would appreciate if she didn't hang out with him out of respect for me. I got pissed because her reasoning doesn't make sense to me.

She said that she is going to see him around. They both go to UIC and share a class together. Which doesn't concern me because I have no reason to be mad about that. They have a lot of the same friends at UIC because that's how they met.

What pisses me off, or pissed me off, is that she went to see him...just to hang out. I think that is unacceptable. I wasn't mad at her talking to him, tho I don't see why she needs to. Its the fact that I feel it is disrespectful for them to hang out and she didn't see anything wrong in it.

The part that really pisses me off is that I know she would have gotten SUPER pissed if it was me visiting my ex.

I hope she understands and just lets him go. That's what I'm concerned with now is that she probably isn't over him.

Did you tell her those things?

I mean, you COULD be right. The last guy I dated never got over his ex.

It's just so important to have those conversations. Many guys aren't forthcoming with their feelings, but from a girl's POV, I REALLY appreciate it when my bf tells me what's concerning him or what questions he has.

If it goes unsaid, it's just waiting for trouble.

Yeah screw that bullshit, there is no reason for her to be hanging out with her ex. I mean her talking with him when they run into eachother is one thing, but hanging out like friends is another.

The only reason girls and guys are ever friends is because of 1 of 3 reasons. The girl is attracted to the guy, the guy is attracted to the girl, or they both are attracted to eachother.

Whatever it is straighten that shit out right now because if you wait too long you will be screwed. I know if I was seeing someone and they did that their ass would be on the curb.

Wrong.

Most of my friends are guys (w/the exception of 2 girls that I don't often see). I feel I can be more "myself" around them. They're more "real." I can shoot the shit with them. We have things in common. There's nothing sexual; I view them as brothers, and the thought of them sexually is enough to churn my stomach.

Your "typical" females bask in drama and petty bullshit. To me, that's best left up to TV shows.

 

[TonzKnock-G]

ALL I CAN SAY IS TROUBLE AND DISRESPECTFUL!!!

 

[02DyeFour]

Did you tell her that?

I mean, you COULD be right. The last guy I dated never got over his ex.

It's just so important to have those conversations. Many guys aren't forthcoming with their feelings, but from a girl's POV, I REALLY appreciate it when my bf tells me what's concerning him or what questions he has.

If it goes unsaid, it's just waiting for trouble.



Wrong.

Most of my friends are guys (w/the exception of 2 girls that I don't often see). I feel I can be more "myself" around them. They're more "real." I can shoot the shit with them. We have things in common. There's nothing sexual; I view them as brothers, and the thought of them sexually is enough to churn my stomach.

Your "typical" females bask in drama and petty bullshit. To me, that's best left up to TV shows.

Yea I said that but I didn't want to piss her off by saying that. Then I told her to put herself in my situation. She said she would rather me not hang out with an ex.

And she definitely is a "typical" female. But this is really the only problem I've had with her. I don't really do the whole drama thing. It sucks tho because this "fight" happened the day she left for her cruise so in my head its still unresolved. And I think she thinks everything is ok. I don't want her coming back and me still dwelling on this.

There was one other fight and I still don't believe her story. But I let it go.
So, she went to a bar and I had to move out of my old apartment so I couldn't go so it was her and her girlfriend. So she called me at like 3am and wanted to come over so I'm like whatever. She comes over and about a minute later her phone rings while we were kissing. She ignored the call and I asked who it was. She said nobody.

That to me is trying to hide something. So I'm like really who was it, after a lil bit she said one of her friends guy friends. I'm like why is he calling you at 3am when you were just hanging out with him at the bar, and he just met you. She said she lost her phone and used his to call her phone to find it.

That is the biggest bullshit excuse I have ever heard. Her phone does NOT leave her side. And you wouldn't hear it ring anyways. I was like why did he call you then, she said she didn't know.

A couple days later, she posted pics of her at the bar and of about the 6 or 7 pics she was in, she was sitting with or by this guy for about 5 of the pics.

Then, we are hanging out at my house and he called. She ignored the call.


Sorry for the novel and the stupid gf shit.

 

[Jennifer]

Yea I said that but I didn't want to piss her off by saying that. Then I told her to put herself in my situation. She said she would rather me not hang out with an ex.

And she definitely is a "typical" female. But this is really the only problem I've had with her. I don't really do the whole drama thing. It sucks tho because this "fight" happened the day she left for her cruise so in my head its still unresolved. And I think she thinks everything is ok. I don't want her coming back and me still dwelling on this.

There was one other fight and I still don't believe her story. But I let it go.
So, she went to a bar and I had to move out of my old apartment so I couldn't go so it was her and her girlfriend. So she called me at like 3am and wanted to come over so I'm like whatever. She comes over and about a minute later her phone rings while we were kissing. She ignored the call and I asked who it was. She said nobody.

That to me is trying to hide something. So I'm like really who was it, after a lil bit she said one of her friends guy friends. I'm like why is he calling you at 3am when you were just hanging out with him at the bar, and he just met you. She said she lost her phone and used his to call her phone to find it.

That is the biggest bullshit excuse I have ever heard. Her phone does NOT leave her side. And you wouldn't hear it ring anyways. I was like why did he call you then, she said she didn't know.

A couple days later, she posted pics of her at the bar and of about the 6 or 7 pics she was in, she was sitting with or by this guy for about 5 of the pics.

Then, we are hanging out at my house and he called. She ignored the call.


Sorry for the novel and the stupid gf shit.

My ex flipped out at a car meet when a guy friend of mine texted me. Like I posted above, guy FRIEND. He asked who it was; at first I said "no one important," but he threw a hissy fit. Even when I explained who it was and had him read the text, he still didn't believe me. He proceeded to be an asshole to me, accusing me of cheating (which I wasn't, nor did I ever. He was also a pompous, controlling, psychotic asshole).

I guess what I'm saying is, don't jump to conclusions if you're a genuine guy.

Communication, honesty, and trust is the key. Do you know her enough to say you trust her?

Did you ask her about those pics with her and the guy? I mean, if you don't trust her, or if you don't trust her explanation, maybe there's no reason for you two to be seeing each other. In my experience, relationships don't work out if there's a nagging doubt at the back of your mind.

 

[blakbearddelite]

Wrong.

Most of my friends are guys (w/the exception of 2 girls that I don't often see). I feel I can be more "myself" around them. They're more "real." I can shoot the shit with them. We have things in common. There's nothing sexual; I view them as brothers, and the thought of them sexually is enough to churn my stomach.

Your "typical" females bask in drama and petty bullshit. To me, that's best left up to TV shows.

Sorry to pick on you, but your logic is flawed. These guys you hang out with are not ex-boyfriends. If the thought of them sexually is churning your stomach, then your boyfriend is not going to worry about you hanging out with them.

Edit:I'm assuming greasy meant the only reason two ex's would be friends not just a random guy and a random girl.

 

[02DyeFour]

My ex flipped out at a car meet when a guy friend of mine texted me. Like I posted above, guy FRIEND. He asked who it was; at first I said "no one important," but he threw a hissy fit. Even when I explained who it was and had him read the text, he still didn't believe me. He proceeded to be an asshole to me, accusing me of cheating (which I wasn't, nor did I ever. He was also a pompous, controlling, psychotic asshole).

I guess what I'm saying is, don't jump to conclusions if you're a genuine guy.

Communication, honesty, and trust is the key. Do you know her enough to say you trust her?

Did you ask her about those pics with her and the guy? I mean, if you don't trust her, or if you don't trust her explanation, maybe there's no reason for you two to be seeing each other. In my experience, relationships don't work out if there's a nagging doubt at the back of your mind.

The thing is I don't care about the guy calling. I just don't want her to lie to me. Makes things worse.

After all of it, seeing the pics and him calling, I was actually happy because she left the bar early to go see me. I'm not worried about her cheating so I trust her there. I just hate lieing. And yes, I lie, I know I do.

I think she does stuff just to..... I don't know if its to give herself attention or make me jealous or some emotion.

Either way, doesn't bother me. I'm not jealous or anything. And if she wants attention that I can't give her then whatever.

My reasoning is besides these 2 incidents, she sent me a text last night on her cruise that said, Boys after me

To me, she trying to make me jealous. And I know how she is around guys so if I was there, I would be mad. But I'm not there, so I trust her not to take it to anything more than a flirty level.

And I'm definitely a communicator. I talk about everything that bothers me. Sometimes, I just need other opinions so I'm not really blowing things out of proportion.

 

[MIKES3]

I'll explain my situation a little bit.

My girlfriend and I started going out about 2 months ago. She just broke up with her old guy a couple weeks before we started talking. I met her just before she started going out with the guy, but we didn't really talk that much.

So, after they broke up and we started talking and shit, she always said how much she hated him and even brought me along one time when she had to give him something so he wouldn't talk to her.

Recently, and I didn't know this, they have been talking. That doesn't bother me at all. But, the other day, she went to his house to drop off a parking pass they use for college and she ended up staying there for 4 hours. By themselves.

That bothers me. So I got pissed at her.

Unload her man. THats all I'm going to say. Usually woman wont talk to there exs in there in a relationship. If it happens I'm out

 

[TonzKnock-G]

WHAT HE SAID!!!!!! ^^^^^


Why dont u go hang with some ex's thats what i would do!

The whole fkn point of EX is exactly what it is EX. Why break up to go hang out for 4 hours...wtf....

Jennifer Jennifer Jennifer we all know u women stick together and so do men sometimes but this situation is so fkn obvious its not even funny. Stay with her for the benefits and go hang with some of your own ex's and see how it works out...

 

[Jennifer]

Sorry to pick on you, but your logic is flawed. These guys you hang out with are not ex-boyfriends. If the thought of them sexually is churning your stomach, then your boyfriend is not going to worry about you hanging out with them.

Edit:I'm assuming greasy meant the only reason two ex's would be friends not just a random guy and a random girl.

HAHA, says who? Ass u me.

A good handful of them are, yes. And NOW the thought of seeing them in the buff? No thank you.

Not pointing any fingers, but as a general statement: I LOVE when people are so close-minded they think if people have opposite-sex friends, it automatically means someone in the equation wants to bang the other. SO not true. Maybe it's a maturity thing... once you grow up and get your hormones in check, you can learn to befriend the opposite sex in a platonic manner.

 

[Bru]

Not pointing any fingers, but as a general statement: I LOVE when people are so close-minded they think if people have opposite-sex friends, it automatically means someone in the equation wants to bang the other. SO not true. Maybe it's a maturity thing... once you grow up and get your hormones in check, you can learn to befriend the opposite sex in a platonic manner.

I think it's just as closed minded to think that people of opposite sexes won't have any sexual desire towards each other even though they're just friends, simply writing it off as a generalization, because I guarantee it can go both ways.

This was a common situation we studied and talked about in gender communication classes I had to take for school. In my opinion, I think there will always be some subconscious sexual desire and, personally, I would not want a girlfriend hanging around her ex. I'm a guy, I know how we think. It's never good, but I realize there are exceptions. Just my $.02.

 

[02DyeFour]

I think it's just as closed minded to think that people of opposite sexes won't have any sexual desire towards each other even though they're just friends, simply writing it off as a generalization, because I guarantee it can go both ways.

This was a common situation we studied and talked about in gender communication classes I had to take for school. In my opinion, I think there will always be some subconscious sexual desire and, personally, I would not want a girlfriend hanging around her ex. I'm a guy, I know how we think. It's never good, but I realize there are exceptions. Just my $.02.

Exactly, her ex is a guy and I know how he thinks. He still likes her/has feelings for her... blah blah. I know how I think around my ex's and that's why I dont hang out with them when I'm in a relationship.

I'm not sure if her reasoning is to keep him desiring her. I know she's all about that. She likes attention.

I'm going to have to wait to figure this out because she doesn't come back till saturday.

 

[slowchevy]

...and sorry for the lame thread

it isn't lame.. i have come here for advice before, and i've usually gotten good ADVICE but in the end it's only up to you the path you choose. personally, i have been fucked over by things like you're describing in the past so i'm super watchful of things..

My ex flipped out at a car meet when a guy friend of mine texted me. Like I posted above, guy FRIEND. He asked who it was; at first I said "no one important," but he threw a hissy fit. Even when I explained who it was and had him read the text, he still didn't believe me.

Some times, the 'it doesn't matter' comes across as QUITE suspicious to us.. my ex / future gf if things work out again.. does that a LOT and sometimes I can't stand it. We just are curious who it was, we aren't gonna get mad.. we kinda have a right to know. Why? Relationships are 50/50. You share things. You discuss.. Just because we wanna know who you are talkin to doesn't mean we're all like him and think you're cheating.

FWIW, My ex does that shit when her friends text her .. and it bothers the PISS out of me. she always asks me when we're out and I get a call or txt who it was / what it was about, I have EVERY SINGLE TIME answered, no matter how good or bad it might be. I just think it's the right thing to do .. cuz when someone does that to me, I feel they're hiding something.. and i've been fucked over a LOT in the past because i kept trusting someone and they fucked me over.

 

[MIKES3]

HAHA, says who? Ass u me.

A good handful of them are, yes. And NOW the thought of seeing them in the buff? No thank you.

Not pointing any fingers, but as a general statement: I LOVE when people are so close-minded they think if people have opposite-sex friends, it automatically means someone in the equation wants to bang the other. SO not true. Maybe it's a maturity thing... once you grow up and get your hormones in check, you can learn to befriend the opposite sex in a platonic manner.

I have my own opinoins on this as well. IMO woman that seek more male friends means that they're looking for some kind of attention. It definitely doesnt need to be sexual attention but it's something. Somewhere on the growing up road something created that change. If your in a committed relationship and your significant other allows you to be friends with them it's all good, but if he doesnt and you didnt make it clear in the beginning then the woman should make some changes. Everytime I hear a girl state they have more male friends due to the drama that woman bring on it just a lame excuse. Guys have drama as well. How is it you can handle that but not females?