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Old 01-11-2017, 04:33 PM   #13426
Not sure if serious...
 
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Too mean
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Old 01-11-2017, 04:48 PM   #13427
 
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Old 01-11-2017, 05:36 PM   #13428
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Old 01-11-2017, 09:30 PM   #13429
 
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Old 01-11-2017, 10:24 PM   #13430
 
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Old 01-11-2017, 11:30 PM   #13431
 
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Old 01-12-2017, 12:25 PM   #13432
You used to call me on my cell phone
 
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Old 01-12-2017, 12:55 PM   #13433
GM or Nothing
 
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Old 01-12-2017, 01:02 PM   #13434
I like rusty spoons
 
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Fuck
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Old 01-12-2017, 03:13 PM   #13435
 
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@Mike K ?

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Old 01-12-2017, 05:08 PM   #13436
JTICE
 
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Old 01-12-2017, 06:11 PM   #13437
 
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that was last night, need a night off
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Old 01-13-2017, 02:22 AM   #13438
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@Mike K ?

Isn't this a national phenomenon? It's so hip to exclude food groups these days.
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Old 01-13-2017, 02:05 PM   #13439
You used to call me on my cell phone
 
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Old 01-13-2017, 02:11 PM   #13440
GM Nutswinger
 
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1. I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill. Apparently, a turban, beard, and a backpack weren't what they had in mind.

2. After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex, John woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman. That's when he realized he had made it home safely.

3. Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Para-Olympics after they tested positive for WD40.

4. A teenage boy asks his granny: “Have you seen my pills? They were labeled LSD?” Granny replies: “The hell with the pills, did you see the dragons in the kitchen?”

5. Wife gets naked and asks hubby:“What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body?” Hubby looks her up and down and replies: “Your sense of humor!”



(Hospital visiting hours are 5:00 to 6:00. )

6. A chap's wife's back on the warpath again. She was up for making a sex movie last night, and all he did was suggest they should hold auditions for her part.



(His viewing will be Saturday from 7:00 till 8:30. )

7. I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster.

8. I woke up this morning at 11:30, and could sense something was wrong. I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do. Then I remembered: McDonald's now serves breakfast all day.

9. My missus packed my bags, and as I walked out the front door. She screamed: "I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!" I replied:"Oh, so now you want me to stay!”


10. Bought the missus a hamster skin coat last week. When we went to the fair last night it took me 3 hours to get her off the Ferris wheel.


11 . The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with. I told her: "Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!"



(The doctor says I should be able to see again in about ten days. The broken arm will take about a month.)


Couple jokes my dad sent me
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Old 01-13-2017, 02:22 PM   #13441
brokedickfamilyride. I'm just here for the smilies
 
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Old 01-14-2017, 10:46 AM   #13442
 
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Old 01-15-2017, 01:39 PM   #13443
Aka "That Focus RS Guy"
 
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Extreme Russian Accordion skills.
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Old 01-15-2017, 03:39 PM   #13444
 
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http://www.fox32chicago.com/news/don...29291192-story

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Old 01-15-2017, 07:14 PM   #13445
 
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Old 01-15-2017, 08:59 PM   #13446
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike K View Post
Isn't this a national phenomenon? It's so hip to exclude food groups these days.
Eat all good groups and start a new trend
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Old 01-15-2017, 09:37 PM   #13447
 
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The comments

http://pix11.com/2016/12/03/oregons-...d-man-in-jail
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Old 01-15-2017, 09:39 PM   #13448
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Who Fuck that guy
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Old 01-15-2017, 09:42 PM   #13449
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I mean dude looks like the character from Mr Deeds
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Old 01-16-2017, 11:21 AM   #13450
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Fucking pussies
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