Christmas gift giving stresses and proper protocol

Eagle

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Hey boys (and girls?) - I'm curious how you all do your Christmas lists - specific items or categories, do you implement price limits with those your exchanging gifts with, how you decide who to purchase for or do you buy for everyone, do you like to buy specific presents that are requested to be certain they receiver will love what you got them or do you like to have more mystery around what you're buying someone?

My poor wife is stressing so hard over this Christmas and I feel terrible for her. All our kids are getting older and want specific things that are quite expensive. She just doesn't feel the same way about gift giving when it's so predictable I guess.

I'm the worst about it in her opinion. She's gotten me a watch I didn't like and ended up exchanging, then she got me an RC boat that has a fishing rig on it so you can take your bait out into the lake from the shore and drop it wherever you want... That gift confused me as I hadn't been fishing in years and didn't know what to think about the gift at all. Ended up never using it, which of course also made her sad.

Do you guys have any stories about gift giving pains you could share?

Maybe just tell us what gifting protocol you follow? Is there a standard on this somewhere? Because seriously, I think we've inadvertently lost the magic a bit.
 

Yaj Yak

Gladys
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so we've run into these conundrums as well.

wife's side has become no presents adult to adult at all- just gifts to the children.

then we plan a weekend trip somewhere for all of us instead of doing gifts... because we all are fortunate enough to have what we need, and just having more time together would be neat.
last year we went to the dells and it was a complete riot.


my side- we've changed it up this year to where my bro/sister/sig others have decided to just draw names... $100 limit per person plus $25-30 worth of booze.

we won't break the bank, we will all have a lil something to open, and only have to buy for one person.

it sounds like we are going to try to change it to the trip somewhere style though next year.

my buddy has a good size family and extended family and they do a gift exchange where everyone puts their name & interests in a hat, and there's a $200 limit. but no one gets gifts for anyone else. so there's something like 30-35 people into it, but no one has to get anyone else in the exchange a gift. they can just really focus on getting their one person something special.
 

Chester Copperpot

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I feel the exact same way. Christmas gift giving has sort of "lost" it's allure. My sister finally asked me what I want for Christmas last night and my response was "Nothing. Unless you want to buy $1500 suspension components or an $800 tonneau cover." She was not amused.

I think as we get older, it really does just turn into "I want this and this" instead of the mystery of opening the Sears catalog and scribbling down all the Legos and hoping for the best. :rofl:

We did an "immediate family gifts only" last year where the parents bought the "kids" something but no one was going to buy anyone else anything. Except for grandma. Everyone bought stuff for grandma.

Haven't heard much this year from any of the family and, well, we're two weeks from Christmas.
 

DanJ

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The fiancé and I are just doing stockings this year since I’m going away for work the week before Christmas and we’re simultaneously planning a wedding. Other than that we’re in a gift exchange with her side of the family and she’s taking care of that one. I usually buy for my parents and brother and just guess something they could use which is pretty easy. Not participating in my moms side of the family’s grab bag exchange because it seems pointless to give and get some random crap that’s just going to clutter up your house.
 

Eagle

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The fiancé and I are just doing stockings this year since I’m going away for work the week before Christmas and we’re simultaneously planning a wedding. Other than that we’re in a gift exchange with her side of the family and she’s taking care of that one. I usually buy for my parents and brother and just guess something they could use which is pretty easy. Not participating in my moms side of the family’s grab bag exchange because it seems pointless to give and get some random crap that’s just going to clutter up your house.

Yeah, the cheaper stuff really does just seem like crap anymore. Doesn't matter what you get for $20-25, its garbage and either has zero appeal/usefulness or its complete junk and will break in the first week of use. You almost HAVE to spend more $ for it to be really "worth it."
 

Eagle

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so we've run into these conundrums as well.
...
my buddy has a good size family and extended family and they do a gift exchange where everyone puts their name & interests in a hat, and there's a $200 limit. but no one gets gifts for anyone else. so there's something like 30-35 people into it, but no one has to get anyone else in the exchange a gift. they can just really focus on getting their one person something special.

I like that. I think I'm going to suggest that for next year for both sides.
 

Yaj Yak

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Yeah, the cheaper stuff really does just seem like crap anymore. Doesn't matter what you get for $20-25, its garbage and either has zero appeal/usefulness or its complete junk and will break in the first week of use. You almost HAVE to spend more $ for it to be really "worth it."

well and cuz if it's 20-25$, people will just buy it for themselves immediately.
 

EmersonHart13

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I just buy what I want and I keep a Pinterest list year round of stuff I'd like. Tools, tshirts. electronics etc.

This is the first year wife and I kinda capped it and its because we spent a metric fuck ton of money on stuff and we won't be home for xmas.

I only buy gifts for brothers, sisters, and parents other than grab bags for both sides of the family so we have it pretty easy. Lists are mandatory for all parties so we just pick off that shop on Amazon and wait.

The hardest for me to shop for is my boss which is usually booze, a poinsettia and some gift that I still need to buy.
 

Eagle

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well and cuz if it's 20-25$, people will just buy it for themselves immediately.

Seriously! I normally buy myself whatever I want if I actually want it. I don't *need* a damn thing, but sure, I have stupid stuff I want. This year I even tried to be good about it and stopped buying anything I "wanted" around Octoberish and started building my Christmas list with the things that came to mind over the next couple of months. I had a good page worth of ideas, ranging from $25-1500. :rofl:
 

FESTER665

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I get this post for sure. It kinda is boring when you make a list and basically know everything that will be under the tree by the time you get there.



We do a $30 grab bag with stealing for the large extended family Christmas party. Works out well and is fun, lots of yelling, laughing, etc. If you havent done one before its simple. Everyone draws a number, and you choose a present in that order. So the first person opens a gift from under the tree. Then the second person can either open a gift or steal the one that's already opened. Each round any gift can only be stolen one time before it's off limits.

At the end the person who drew first gets the last steal.




The actual family Christmas though at my parents house is kinda "meh" because we all know what we had on our list. My list this year was literally all DeWalt 60 and 20v tools. So itll be a bunch of yellow under the tree.
 

Miss Esa

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Christmas shopping for my side of the family SUCKS. My Dad hasn't used anything (minus books and booze) that we have bought him, both my parents just buy what they want when they want it, and my grandma always says nothing. We usually try and spend about $100 on each of them since they really spoil us each year. This year we went with the handmade gifts and photos from our baby in hopes of items actually being used. Everyone loves handmade things right?

My brothers are fairly easy, one collects legos and is into geeky items, the other always makes an Amazon wishlist. We usually spend $75-$100 on each of them.

We don't do much with his side of the family - maybe $15 spent on a handful of various people, and some baked goods for his dad.

This year for our friends we are trying a white elephant exchange instead of buying tons of little random things for various people. There are a few close friends (4?) that we are buying actual presents for, and one where we are planning an 'experience' instead of a gift exchange.

Shopping for each other is sometimes a pain. Some years the gifts are awesome (shotgun for him, jewelry for me) and other years we have both questioned the gifts (3DS for me, a drone for him), though I think I won with this years gift.
 

Eagle

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It amazes me how stressed people get about gift giving for the Holidays. The holidays should be a fun time of year. And I get it. I am horrible at being creative and original with gifts. So I can imagine what people go through with shopping.

All I know is I am so happy that I only have to buy for my parents. :rofl:

My wife balled last night for the better part of 30min over this. I tried to calm her down, but every turn in the convo only seemed to make it worse. We eventually just started buying gifts online and that seemed to help. I felt terrible. :(
 

Stink Star

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I am the worst gift giver in the history of mankind. I am willing to spend tons of money so the problem isn’t that I am a cheap bastard or anything, I just don’t get the subtle hints my wife puts out. I am pretty confident that I did ok this year but generally I have a huge amount of anxiety when it comes around Christmas or the wife’s birthday.

Also a big issue is that my wife watches all of our money like a hawk so I literally can’t even sneak in a lunch from Taco Bell without her noticing. So buying her a present is difficult because if the thing she wants is from a certain store and she sees a charge from that store she will know I got it for her. It’s gotten to the point where my dad actually lets me use his credit card to buy stuff and ship it to his house and I just pay him back after the holiday so that she won’t find out
 

willizm

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I use to be very prepared for holiday shopping but I'm honestly out of time getting anything and haven't even started. As I get older I realize it's only going to get harder with the stress of work, kids, holiday's, etc.

In other words.....
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Pressure Ratio

....
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My wife balled last night for the better part of 30min over this. I tried to calm her down, but every turn in the convo only seemed to make it worse. We eventually just started buying gifts online and that seemed to help. I felt terrible. :(

That sucks. I am sure that is why gift cards are so popular. Easy and lets the person buy what they want. But so impersonal.


The adults always played the same game that BADAZZTEALCOBRA was talking about. I got to play it when I grew up and before the family split as their families grew. It really was fun to watch them fight for the best gifts. :rofl:
 

SMKE EM

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sofucking boring though

Yeah, I feel like everyone around the holidays is always looking to recreate that happiness they had a kid opening up presents. Esp women.

In reality, we all buy ourselves whatever we want during the year, the cheap gifts usually end up broken or thrown out in my experience

Almost like a waste of $$, rather that person put the $ to better use
 

Yaj Yak

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Yeah, I feel like everyone around the holidays is always looking to recreate that happiness they had a kid opening up presents. Esp women.

In reality, we all buy ourselves whatever we want during the year, the cheap gifts usually end up broken or thrown out in my experience

Almost like a waste of $$, rather that person put the $ to better use

sweet, and the cash i just got filled up my truck instead of gifting me anything

id rather give & receive halfway thoughtful gifts
 
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